


Just What I Need

by disturbinglynic



Category: Leverage
Genre: Domestic schmoop, M/M, Rimming, brief discussion of watersports
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-06-14
Updated: 2013-06-13
Packaged: 2017-12-14 22:18:46
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 39,332
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/842001
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/disturbinglynic/pseuds/disturbinglynic
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>While working a case together, Sterling kisses Eliot. Eliot reacts appropriately and punches Sterling. The damage has already been done though. With just a suggestion from Sterling, Eliot finds himself in Sterling’s bed, and even worse, he finds himself in a relationship with the man. Worse than that, he finds himself actually <i>liking</i> Sterling. Things change for Eliot and Sterling when Sterling pushes Eliot to tell his team the truth about them. Some things become easier, but some things become more complicated. In the end, all Eliot knows is that he has fallen head over heels for Sterling.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

>   
>   
>   
> 
> Art by [evian_fork](http://evian-fork.livejournal.com/)  
> 

 

One minute Eliot was in the middle of an argument with Sterling, and the next, Sterling was kissing him. Eliot was so stunned that it didn’t occur to him to push Sterling away. He didn’t kiss Sterling back either. He just kind of stood there and let Sterling kiss him.

 

When he finally came to his senses, he pushed Sterling away and then punched him. He didn’t say anything. He just stormed off, Sterling following behind him.

 

If they didn’t have to meet up with the rest of the team there was no way he would have let Sterling get away with following him like that. 

 

“What happened to you, Sterling?” Nate asked when they met up with the team.

 

“What do you think?” Sterling retorted, glaring at Eliot.

 

“Eliot, what did Sterling do this time?”

 

“He’s Sterling.”

 

Nate sighed but left it alone. 

 

They managed to finish the case without another incident, and Eliot tried to push the kiss from his mind.

 

It was easier said than done. For some reason, Eliot couldn’t stop thinking about it. He wished he knew why. It wasn’t as if he had been into the kiss or anything. He certainly hadn’t kissed Sterling back. 

 

It was ridiculous.

 

 

A few days later, Sterling came into the restaurant while Eliot was helping out. He walked over to Eliot as if they were friends.

 

“What do you want, Sterling? I’m busy.”

 

“Well hello to you too, Eliot.”

 

Eliot ignored him.

 

“Fine. In spite of this lovely bruise decorating my face, I’m here to let you know that Olivia has no plans to visit me this weekend and that I have no plans this weekend.”

 

“So you aren’t doing anything this weekend. Just like every other weekend. Why would I want to know that?”

 

Sterling smirked and then walked off.

 

“What did Sterling want?” Hardison asked.

 

Eliot very nearly jumped. “I honestly have no idea.”

 

Except it didn’t take a genius to figure out what Sterling had been hinting at. Sterling was going to be alone this weekend and no one would be stopping by for any reason. 

 

Sterling had kissed Eliot.

 

Sterling had invited him over for sex. 

 

Eliot wasn’t really sure what to make of that. He still wasn’t sure what to make of the kiss either. Or Sterling.

 

Sterling had never given any indication that he was interested in men, and Eliot had been sure that Sterling disliked him as much as he disliked Sterling. Only now he was finding out that Sterling, at the very least, was attracted to him and wanted him to come over for sex. 

 

Obviously Eliot wasn’t going to go. He liked women. And even if he did like men, he certainly didn’t like Sterling. He had never liked Sterling and nothing had changed except that now he maybe disliked Sterling a bit more because of that kiss. That kiss that wouldn’t leave him alone. 

 

Eliot shook his head. The whole thing was stupid. He wasn’t going to go to Sterling’s place on Friday night and he definitely wasn’t going to think about Sterling kissing him anymore. He had already wasted enough time on the whole thing. He was done with it. He was going to put Sterling out of his mind now. 

 

 

It was a Friday evening and Eliot hadn’t found a woman to spend the night with. It wasn’t that uncommon. He wasn’t always dating beautiful women despite what his team thought. He had other interests and other hobbies. Not that he was doing any of those tonight either.

 

It wasn’t even that he hadn’t had the opportunity tonight. He had just turned her down. He wasn’t sure why. She had been perfect. She had been exactly what he liked. 

 

Sterling hadn’t specified what day Eliot should come over. He probably wasn’t expecting Eliot to show, but maybe he was hoping all the same. He wondered how far into the weekend they would have to get before Sterling gave up on Eliot. 

 

Eliot may have thought about the entire situation some more. He wasn’t really one for talking, but he did kind of wish there was someone to talk to about this. He didn’t have anyone. He wasn’t going to talk to his old military buddies about this, and the entire team still hated Sterling. Eliot knew what their reactions would be if he told them about Sterling. Their reactions would be just like Eliot’s. And yet Eliot hadn’t told them.

 

He didn’t want the team to react like that. That surprised Eliot. Why should he care? None of the team hated Sterling more than he did. Even Nate didn’t hate him as much. They had some sort of mutual understanding. If Eliot had told them then they all could have gotten a good laugh at Sterling’s expense.

 

Eliot was out of his seat and out the front door before he was even aware that he had made a decision. He got on his bike and headed for Sterling’s house. He had known for a while now where Sterling lived, ever since Sterling had moved out to Portland actually. Nathan had made Eliot promise that he would never actually go to Sterling’s to kick the shit out of him. Eliot had promised and Eliot was a man of his word. If only Nate knew what Eliot was going to Sterling’s house for now.

 

If only Eliot knew what Eliot was going to Sterling’s house for now.

 

Eliot knocked on the door and Sterling opened it, dressed casually, which was something Eliot had never seen before. Sterling was in jeans and a t-shirt. He stared. 

 

He should really get back on his bike and get the hell out of here because this was a mistake. But he couldn’t stop staring.

 

“Are you going to stand there all night or are you going to come in?”

 

Eliot moved past Sterling and into his house. “I don’t know why I’m here.”

 

“Can I get you a drink?”

 

“No.” Eliot might not know why he was at Sterling’s house, but he knew that he wanted to be sober for whatever was about to happen. People usually wanted the opposite, but Eliot wanted to make sure he was in complete control of all his faculties. He didn’t really know why.

 

“Do you mind if I have one?”

 

“No.”

 

“Well have a seat then. Try and get comfortable. You do know that we don’t have to do anything that you don’t want to do.”

 

Eliot snorted. “Like you could get away with doing something I don’t want you to do.”

 

“I did kiss you.”

 

“And I punched you because of it.”

 

“And yet here you are.”

 

“Is there a point to all of this, Sterling?”

 

“No. Of course not.”

 

Sterling disappeared into the kitchen to pour that drink that he wanted. Eliot knew that Sterling had been trying to make a point. Even after Eliot had punched Sterling for kissing him he was here, possibly about to have sex with Sterling. Sterling held some power over him now and Eliot didn’t like it. 

 

Maybe that was why he was here. He wasn’t sure what had possessed him to get on his bike and come here, but maybe he really was here to have sex with Sterling so that they could put this all behind them. Then Sterling wouldn’t have power over him anymore.

 

But Eliot could walk out that door right now and never look back. If he wanted to. He and Sterling could still put this whole thing behind them. They could never speak of it again. Would Sterling still hold some power over him if he did that though?

 

He could find out. All he had to do was move. All he had to do was leave. 

 

Sterling came back into the room, drink in hand. “I see you decided to continue standing. You’re really uncomfortable. Maybe you should just go.”

 

Eliot shook his head. “I’m not uncomfortable.”

 

“Then what are you?”

 

Eliot finally sank down onto the couch. “Confused,” he answered honestly. “Why the hell did you have to kiss me, Sterling?”

 

Sterling sat down on the couch next to him. Right next to him. Eliot considered scooting over but figured it was better if he stayed put. 

 

“I kissed you because I wanted to, Eliot. I know how much you love your women but I thought there might be something there between us. Here you sit, so I must not have been completely off the mark.”

 

“I still don’t really know why I’m here.”

 

“Curiosity?”

 

“Maybe.”

 

Eliot didn’t like this. He wasn’t uncomfortable but he wasn’t at ease either. He still felt like Sterling had some sort of power over him here. 

 

He could try sex with Sterling and then he could be done with it. People experimented all the time. Why shouldn’t he? If he didn’t enjoy it, which he probably wouldn’t, then he didn’t have to come back. He could be done with this. 

 

“Are you still with me, Eliot?”

 

“I don’t know.”

 

How would they even start this? Would they just go to the bedroom and start having sex? Or should they stay on the couch and make out for a bit?

 

The decision was taken from when Sterling ran a hand along his thigh and leaned in close. “Tell me no, Eliot, and all of this can stop right now.”

 

Eliot heard the clink of glass as Sterling set his drink down but Eliot didn’t say anything. Sterling leaned in even closer and kissed him right below his ear. Eliot’s breath caught and he stayed perfectly still. He still didn’t think this was a good idea, but he wasn’t turning and running like he should. Why wasn’t he running?

 

Sterling kissed his way along Eliot’s jaw, slowly. Eliot shuddered beneath those lips. That was why he wasn’t running.

 

He wanted.

 

Eliot shuddered again, his dick growing full and heavy as Sterling nipped at him playfully. Eliot growled and turned his head, grabbing Sterling’s jaw in his hand and crushing their lips together. 

 

They fought for control of the kiss. Their kiss was brutal and messy, a clashing of teeth, tongues tangling. 

 

Sterling finally gave in, letting Eliot take control of the kiss. He was probably worried that Eliot would take off if Sterling tried to take too much control of the situation. Eliot didn’t think he would. He wanted this too much now. 

 

This kiss became less brutal but no less passionate. This was familiar territory. This he could do. 

 

Sterling’s hand slid beneath Eliot’s shirt and began rubbing over the bare skin, his other hand tangled in Eliot’s hair. Sterling broke this kiss and brushed his lips along Eliot’s jaw again. The hand in his hair tugged and Eliot went with the motion, unable to stop a groan escaping as Sterling found the one spot on Eliot’s neck that could make him do that.

 

How had Sterling taken control of the kiss again? More importantly, why didn’t Eliot care?

 

He knew now that he had been planning on having sex with Sterling the whole time. That was why he had come here tonight. He wondered what his team would think if they found out. 

 

Then Sterling was kissing him again and he realized he didn’t give a fuck. He wanted to have sex with Sterling. He didn’t know why he wanted to have sex with Sterling, but there was no doubt it was what he wanted. So he needed to stop thinking about it and actually do it. 

 

Despite his reluctance to break the kiss, he did so and tugged Sterling off of the couch with him. “Bedroom,” he growled. 

 

Sterling smirked, so Eliot kissed it off his face as he walked him back to the bedroom. He eased them both down onto the bed without breaking the kiss. He rocked down against Sterling and was rewarded when Sterling groaned into his mouth, so he did it again.

 

He tugged at the hem of Sterling’s t-shirt and pulled it up. He couldn’t get it off though because they were still kissing. With a groan he sat up and tugged Sterling’s shirt the rest of the way up and off and then got rid of his too. 

 

“I knew it would be like this with you,” Sterling murmured, watching him through heavy-lidded eyes. 

 

He had never appreciated a man’s body the way he did with women, but Sterling was gorgeous. Eliot liked seeing him like this. 

 

Sterling licked his lips and Eliot let out a shaky breath. Who knew that Sterling could have this kind of effect on him? 

 

“Condom?” Eliot managed to ask.

 

Sterling reached into his beside drawer and tossed Eliot a condom and some lube. Right. He was with a man. He was going to have to use lube for this. He was going to have to actually prep Sterling if he didn’t want to hurt him, and that wasn’t what he wanted to do. Sure he usually wanted to kick Sterling’s ass, but this was different.

 

“You still good?”

 

Eliot gave himself a mental shake. “Yeah. Sorry. I’m good.”

 

He got off the bed and shucked his jeans off and then helped Sterling out of his. He stretched back out on top of Sterling so he could kiss him again. 

 

Their erections brushed together and Eliot couldn’t hold back a groan. He wasn’t sure he had ever wanted sex this badly before. 

 

“Roll over,” he ordered Sterling. Sterling started to and then paused.

 

“Are you having second thoughts now?”

 

“Don’t get me wrong, Eliot. I want this.”

 

“But?”

 

Sterling didn’t say anything but Eliot was pretty sure he knew what the problem was.

 

“What we do here stays here and it doesn’t change anything. Okay?”

 

Sterling nodded and then got onto his hands and knees and Eliot knew why Sterling had been hesitant. He was offering himself up to someone who hated him. No matter what this was, it was still intimate. Eliot could use this against Sterling. 

 

Eliot wouldn’t do that. He wasn’t like that.

 

He popped open the cap on the lube and slicked up his fingers. He was about to stick his fingers into Sterling’s ass. What the hell had he been thinking?

 

“You can still back out if you want to.” Sterling was watching Eliot over his shoulder. 

 

“This is weird,” Eliot admitted.

 

“Have you never done this with any of the women you’ve been with?”

 

“No.”

 

Eliot took a deep breath and then circled his finger around Sterling’s hole, gauging his reaction. Sterling sighed and then moved back against his finger.

 

Eliot smiled and pushed the tip of his finger in. He didn’t know how easily Sterling would be able to accommodate him and since he didn’t want to hurt him, he took his time. He slowly worked his finger in and out until it was all the way in.

 

“So I take it you’ve done this before.” Eliot was trying to distract both himself and Sterling as he added a second finger in. 

 

“Not often, but yes.”

 

“Have you since…” Eliot trailed off. He didn’t know how Sterling was with the subject of his deceased ex-wife.

 

“No, I haven’t.”

 

“Have you been with anyone since?” Eliot asked and then silently cursed himself. “You don’t have to answer that. That just kind of fell out.”

 

He continued stretching Sterling but things were quiet and maybe a little awkward now. That was his fault. 

 

“No,” Sterling whispered so quietly that Eliot almost missed it. He was surprised that Sterling had answered him. He was surprised that Sterling hadn’t been with anyone since his ex-wife. How was that possible? Eliot might hate the guy but now that he was in bed with Sterling, he could see how women would find him attractive. 

 

He pushed a third finger into Sterling now determined to make this as good for Sterling as he could. But Eliot didn’t know what he was doing since he’d never been with a man before. He would just have to do his best.

 

“Eliot, you know human anatomy very well, don’t you? Even the organs that you can’t get to?”

 

“Yes. Why? Is there something I should be doing?”

 

“My prostate, Eliot.”

 

Eliot rubbed his fingers against Sterling’s prostate and Sterling let out a long, deep groan, so he did it again. 

 

“Would you just fuck me already?”

 

Eliot pulled his fingers out of Sterling and wiped them on the sheets so he could open the condom and put it on. He coated himself liberally and then lined himself up with Sterling’s hole. 

 

There were a couple of ways he could do this and he decided to push in all at once and then wait for Sterling to adjust. Sterling didn’t complain so he was probably okay with that decision. 

 

He waited until Sterling’s breath didn’t sound so labored and then began to rock back and forth gently until Sterling growled at him. He laughed and began thrusting in earnest, making sure he was positioned so that he could hit Sterling’s prostate. 

 

Sterling groaned and fell to his elbows, Eliot moving with him. He moved one of his hands from their death grip on Sterling’s hips to move around him so he could stroke him. That much at least he knew to do. 

 

Sterling stopped him though, moving his hand down to his thigh and holding it there. “I want to try something,” Sterling informed him. 

 

Eliot didn’t know what Sterling meant but he left it alone. He had never imagined sex could be this good. Sterling was hot and tight around him and every once in a while he squeezed around Eliot’s dick. Eliot never knew when it was coming.

 

Eliot was close and he didn’t think he would be able to hold it off. “Sterling,” he warned.

 

“Right there with you,” Sterling groaned and came without Eliot even touching him. 

 

A few more thrusts and Eliot was coming into the condom. He pulled out, tied off the condom, tossed it into the trash, and then collapsed onto the bed next to Sterling, who was already lying on his back, eyes closed and panting. 

 

Neither said a word for a few minutes as they both came down from their orgasms. The best orgasm of his life. He wasn’t ready to think about that just yet though.

 

“You came without either of us touching you. Have you ever done that before?”

 

Sterling didn’t answer him and Eliot wondered if he had heard him. He rolled his head so that he could look at Sterling. Sterling still had his eyes closed but he was gnawing at his lip. 

 

“Never with a partner before.”

 

“Toys?”

 

“Yes.”

 

“You’ve never had a very attentive partner then.”

 

“It would seem not.”

 

It made him sad to think that nobody had ever been that good to Sterling, but at the same time it gave him a strange sense of satisfaction. It didn’t matter that he didn’t like Sterling, he never left a partner unsatisfied. 

 

“I should get going.”

 

“You don’t have to.”

 

“And what? Are you planning on keeping me in bed all weekend?”

 

Sterling smirked at him. 

 

It was tempting. It was so tempting. But Eliot still thought that this whole thing was a bad idea even though he had gone through with it. It had been a very good bad idea, but a bad idea all the same. He shouldn’t stay. It was still Sterling after all. 

 

Eliot got up and got dressed.

 

“So you’re not staying then.”

 

“I don’t think we should do this again.”

 

“And why not? I know you enjoyed yourself.”

 

“That doesn’t mean it should happen again. Were you really planning on this happening again?”

 

“I wasn’t. Mostly because I wasn’t sure that you would enjoy the whole sex with a guy thing. Doesn’t seem to be a problem though.”

 

Eliot sighed. “Sterling.”

 

“Go then. We can pretend that nothing happened.”

 

Eliot nodded and left. Maybe now that he had fucked Sterling he would be able to forget about the kiss and this whole messy situation. 

 

 

Eliot should have known better. After sex that good, how could he not think about Sterling? How could he not want to have sex with him again?

 

It was the middle of the day and he was with his team. It had been nearly two weeks since the encounter with Sterling and he was miserable. He wanted Sterling in a way he hadn’t wanted anyone in… well, forever. As insane as that was. 

 

That was the problem. It was Sterling. If it had been anyone else this wouldn’t have been an issue. He hated Sterling though, and so did his team. 

 

Did that really matter though? He could still hate Sterling and have sex with him. Liking someone wasn’t necessarily a requirement. 

 

He had Sterling’s number in his phone and had thought about calling Sterling every day since that night they had had sex. And every day he had kept himself from giving into that urge.

 

Today was not going to end the same. Why shouldn’t he have sex with Sterling? They were both adults. If they wanted to have sex then they could have sex. 

 

He pulled out his phone and sent a text message to Sterling. _Any plans for lunch?_

 

He hated texting but he wasn’t going to have a phone conversation about this even though he knew there was every possibility that Sterling would tell him to go fuck off. He also knew that because of the way they had left things it would have to be him that made the next move, not Sterling. So this was his move. 

 

Eliot’s phone buzzed. _I’m free._

 

_Do you want to meet at your place?_

 

There was no way that Sterling would mistake that for anything other than what it was. He just hoped that Sterling would say yes.

 

_Meet you there in twenty?_

 

_I’ll be there._

 

Eliot grinned and began to head out when he was stopped by Hardison. “And where do you think you’re going?”

 

“Got a lunch date.”

 

“With who?” Sophie asked.

 

“Nobody you know,” Eliot replied. He was not ready to admit to the team that he was having sex with Sterling. Eliot wasn’t even really ready to admit it to himself. 

 

He turned his phone off on the way out hoping that his phone was the only way Hardison had to track him. He hoped that Hardison would try and respect his privacy though. Then again, it was Hardison, so he really hoped Hardison had no other way of tracking him. He figured he was safe as long as his phone was off and he didn’t have his earpiece. Unless Hardison decided to start pulling up security footage or something. 

 

Eliot needed to stop thinking like that or he wouldn’t have as much fun with Sterling as he had last time. 

 

He was glad that Sterling had beat him to the house. He wouldn’t want to seem as desperate as he felt. 

 

“So is this going to become a regular thing then?” Sterling asked as soon as he opened the door for Eliot.

 

“This is just sex.”

 

“Just sex,” Sterling agreed.

 

“Then yes.”

 

“Well all right then.”

 

Sterling let him in and they shed their clothing and kissed as they made their way to the bedroom. 

 

It was just as good as Eliot had remembered.


	2. Chapter 2

 

Eliot was tired and in pain. His bed was comfortable and he had a good book. His phone buzzed.

 

He considered ignoring it but it might be something important.

 

_Are you free?_

 

Eliot would love nothing more than to have sex with Sterling, but he didn’t think that was going to happen right now.

 

_Just got back from a job. Tired and in pain._

 

_How about we actually have lunch then? I could bring some over._

 

For some reason he didn’t want Sterling to come here, but he did actually want to have lunch with him. 

 

_Pick up the food. I’ll meet you at your place._

 

_Are you sure you should be driving?_

 

_I’ll be fine._

 

He was glad he had showered as soon as he got home. He got up but didn’t bother changing from his track pants and t-shirt. No need to dress up for Sterling.

 

He took his car to Sterling’s instead of his bike. It was safer that way and he didn’t need a lecture from Sterling. 

 

Sterling had beat him to the house like he normally did. Eliot let himself in, as was custom now, and locked the door behind him. Sterling already had the kitchen table set and their food laid out. 

 

“How bad is it?” Sterling asked.

 

Eliot shrugged. “It’s manageable.”

 

They sat down and dug in. They managed a civilized conversation with Eliot telling Sterling about the job they had just come back from. 

 

When they were done, Sterling wouldn’t let Eliot help with the cleaning but Eliot got up and followed him to the sink anyway. He wrapped his arms around Sterling and trailed kisses along his neck.

 

“I thought you weren’t up for this?”

 

Eliot sighed against Sterling. “I’m not.”

 

Sterling turned around in his arms. “I have an idea then. You need sleep so why don’t you stay here to rest. Maybe you’ll be up for it when I get home.”

 

Eliot didn’t have the energy to argue. “Fine.” He headed for the bedroom without waiting for a reply from Sterling and collapsed onto the bed. 

 

He heard Sterling leave and was thankful that Sterling wasn’t making a big deal out of this. He had never stayed before. He had never stayed for long after sex, and he had definitely never spent the night. They weren’t in a relationship. Why should he do that?

 

***

 

He woke up to someone moving around in the kitchen. It was late. He was surprised he had slept for so long. He was healing, though, so his body needed the sleep. 

 

He got out of bed to pee and then rummaged around, lucking out and finding a stash of toothbrushes. He pulled one out, briefly wondering why Sterling had an entire stash. 

 

He finished in the bathroom and found Sterling sitting on the bed, waiting for him. 

 

“I hope you don’t mind, but I grabbed a toothbrush from the stash you have,” Eliot said as he laid back down in bed. “Are you doing a lot of entertaining that I don’t know about?”

 

Sterling stretched out over him. “Just you, Eliot. Why? Are you jealous?”

 

Eliot didn’t answer even though he was pretty sure he knew what the answer was. He didn’t like the idea of Sterling entertaining anyone else while he was having sex with Eliot. He didn’t know why it bothered him, but it did. 

 

Sterling didn’t press the issue. He kissed Eliot until Eliot relaxed.

 

“So are you up for this or do you need to rest some more?”

 

Eliot wrapped his arms around Sterling and pulled him back in for a kiss. He was definitely up for this. Sterling had already rid himself of his jacket and shoes so Eliot started working on the buttons to his shirt. Sterling huffed and pulled away from him, finishing unbuttoning his own shirt and pulling it off. “You just lay back and take it easy.”

 

Sterling climbed off of Eliot and the bed and finished undressing. He grabbed the lube and a condom and tossed them on the bed before helping Eliot out of his clothes. He stretched back out over Eliot again.

 

“So you’re going to do all the work this time, then?” Eliot teased.

 

Sterling rolled his eyes and nipped at Eliot’s lip. “I could just leave you here, you know.”

 

Eliot grinned. “But you won’t.”

 

Sterling snorted. “I have no idea why that is.”

 

Eliot stroked Sterling’s back as they kissed. He enjoyed doing this with Sterling as much as he enjoyed doing anything else with Sterling. In fact, it wasn’t him that got restless, it was Sterling. 

 

Sterling sat up and straddled Eliot. He grabbed the lube and was about to open it when Eliot grabbed it from him. Sterling shrugged and scooted further up Eliot’s body so he wouldn’t have to stretch much. 

 

As much as Eliot liked the idea of watching Sterling do this to himself, he enjoyed doing this too much to leave it to Sterling just yet. He slid a finger into Sterling and watched as Sterling sighed in pleasure. He pushed a second finger in and Sterling let out a moan, leaning down and kissing Eliot. Eliot crooked his fingers and was rewarded with another groan from Sterling. 

 

He pulled his fingers out of Sterling and Sterling grabbed the condom and rolled it onto Eliot. Eliot slicked himself up and Sterling sank down onto him. Six months into whatever it was they were doing, and sex with Sterling was still fantastic. 

 

He wanted more of Sterling so he tried to sit up. His ribs protested the movement and he fell back to the bed with a groan. Sterling stopped moving. “What’s wrong? Are you okay?”

 

“I’m fine. I just want to sit up.”

 

Sterling slid his arms around Eliot and helped him sit up. That was embarrassing. He was always able to perform well in bed, even when he was injured. What was so different about things now?

 

“Are you comfortable?”

 

“I’m good.”

 

“What’s wrong?”

 

It seemed that he was never able to get anything past Sterling. “I’m fine.”

 

Sterling kissed Eliot, trying to put him at ease. Of course he knew what was bothering Eliot.

 

Eliot broke away from Sterling so he could kiss his way down Sterling’s neck and then continue down so he could take a nipple into his mouth. Sterling buried his hands in Eliot’s hair as he held him in place. Eliot smirked and bit down, enjoying the feeling of Sterling tugging on his hair.

 

The thing about sleeping with the same person for six months was that Eliot knew exactly how to make Sterling squirm. He also knew exactly what he shouldn’t do, but there wasn’t much that Sterling didn’t like. There wasn’t much that Eliot didn’t like either. 

 

He let Sterling’s nipple go and Sterling started moving again. He rested one hand on Sterling’s hip and used his other hand to start stroking Sterling even though he didn’t need it. Eliot still liked to do it and it wasn’t as if Sterling complained about it. 

 

It didn’t take long for Sterling to come, and Eliot was right behind him. They always seemed to be in sync like that. 

 

Sterling pulled off of Eliot and took the condom off of him. After he tossed it, he lay down next to Eliot. Eliot had already collapsed back on the bed. 

 

“You still doing all right over there?”

 

“I’m fine. Would you quit worrying?”

 

Sterling sighed but didn’t say anything more. Eliot got off the bed and got dressed.

 

“Leaving already?”

 

“Actually, I thought I would cook us dinner.”

 

“Oh. Okay.”

 

Sterling looked surprised, and Eliot didn’t blame him. He felt like cooking them dinner though, so why not.

 

He rummaged around Sterling’s kitchen until he found stuff he could use to make them dinner. It wasn’t much, and things would certainly be better if they had been at Eliot’s house. He whipped up an easy chicken dinner for them with what he had found while Sterling set the table and pulled out beers for the both of them. 

 

“This is delicious,” Sterling stated after a few bites.

 

“It would be better if we were at my place and could use my food.”

 

“Yes, well, if only someone didn’t have a problem with me being over at his place.”

 

He didn’t know why he had an issue with Sterling seeing him at his place. Maybe he should fix that. 

 

Eliot and Sterling washed the dishes together and then Eliot bid Sterling goodnight. He didn’t miss the disappointment in Sterling’s eyes, but he did his best to ignore it. He had an idea of how to make things better anyway.

 

***

 

_Dinner at my place tonight._

 

He didn’t ask. He knew Sterling would jump on the chance anyway. Last night, Sterling had sounded bitter about the fact that Eliot had never had him over to his place, even though he said it teasingly. 

 

He didn’t have to clean because he kept his place spotless. He was still moving a little slowly from his injury, but cooking was easy and soothing. 

 

He was in the middle of cooking when there was a knock at the door. He hadn’t told Sterling when to show up for dinner so that Sterling could come over when he wanted. He had assumed that Sterling would show up early, and he was right. 

 

He went to let Sterling in. Six months in and Eliot still loved the sight of Sterling in jeans and a t-shirt. He licked his lips and grabbed Sterling’s t-shirt and dragged him in for a kiss. 

 

“Well hello to you too.”

 

“Come on. You have perfect timing. The food needs to sit for a bit.”

 

He shut the door behind Sterling and then pulled him into the bedroom. Sterling laughed as Eliot pushed him down onto the bed. He pulled out the lube and a condom from his bedside drawer and tossed them onto the bed before joining Sterling. 

 

“I take it you’re feeling better.”

 

“Well enough.”

 

He lay on his side and pulled Sterling to him. They really didn’t have much time, but Eliot wasn’t going to miss out on this. 

 

Their legs tangled together and one of Eliot’s hands slid under Sterling’s t-shirt and stroked along his lower back. The other had was cupped around the back of Sterling’s neck. Sterling had a hand in Eliot’s hair and another resting on his back. They traded long, lazy kisses, neither of them pushing to go any further. 

 

They kissed for so long that when they pulled apart, Eliot cursed. 

 

“What’s wrong?”

 

“We ran out of time. I have to get back to the food now.”

 

“That’s all right. I don’t mind. That was nice.”

 

It was, but Eliot kept his mouth shut. He got out of bed and hurried into the kitchen to finish their dinner. 

 

He was feeling out of sorts and he didn’t know what was causing it. He focused on finishing their dinner and tried to ignore the warring feelings inside of him. Sterling was walking around his kitchen and setting the table like he belonged here, and that didn’t exactly make Eliot want to run as away as fast as he could. He wasn’t sure what to make of that. 

 

They ate dinner in companionable silence, Sterling letting out a groan of satisfaction every so often, and Sterling helped him with the dishes afterward. Eliot was standing at the sink finishing up the dishes, when Sterling wrapped his arms around Eliot. 

 

“It was definitely better having a meal that you cooked here.”

 

Eliot shut the water and turned around in Sterling’s arms, winding his own around Sterling. “I did tell you.”

 

“Yeah, yeah. I should go now.”

 

Eliot let his hands fall to his side and Sterling backed away from him. They didn’t kiss goodbye. That was what people in relationships did, and they weren’t in a relationship. This was just sex. It could never be more because how could he ever want more with Sterling? It was Sterling. 

 

“So does that mean I can start meeting you here sometimes?”

 

“Yeah. I can cook for us again.”

 

“I’d like that.”

 

Sterling left and Eliot was left alone with his thoughts. It was a good thing he knew how to keep busy. He didn’t need to be alone with his thoughts.

 

 

It was early Saturday morning and Eliot had just arrived at Sterling’s house. Sterling had convinced him to spend an entire day with him, mostly in bed. 

 

Sterling was standing outside waiting for him. There was another car in the driveway and Eliot didn’t know who it belonged to. It was probably why Sterling was standing there waiting for him. 

 

“So who is the surprise guest this morning?”

 

“Olivia.”

 

Eliot froze. He should just turn around right now and go back home.

 

“Eliot, don’t. She showed up and I was hoping the three of us could spend the day together. She knows who you are, but it would be nice to introduce you to her as-“

 

“As what?” Eliot asked, not letting Sterling finish that statement. As far as Eliot was concerned all this was still just sex, though he would be willing to admit that maybe they were friends now. Maybe. Sometimes he wasn’t sure if they actually were or not.

 

“I thought I would just tell her we were together. She can take that however she wants and so can you. Although you shouldn’t have to. This has been going on for nine months now. Is this honestly freaking you out?”

 

“It’s just a little unexpected. That’s all.”

 

“Well come on then. I think the two of you will get on just fine.”

 

Eliot snorted. “That depends, how like you is she?”

 

Sterling glared at him, which just made him smile. He did love riling Sterling up but he was sure that Sterling loved doing the same to him. It was just who they were. 

 

He followed Sterling into the house. 

 

“Olivia, you remember Eliot.”

 

“Hi, Eliot.”

 

“Olivia.”

 

He was usually a lot better at this, but he didn’t really know all that much about Olivia, and he wasn’t sure how to act around her since he was sleeping with her father. 

 

“So what does everyone want to do today?” Sterling asked, clearly trying to ease the awkwardness that Eliot had brought in with him. 

 

“Whatever Olivia wants to do is fine with me.”

 

“Olivia?”

 

“I could use some new books actually.”

 

“Bookstore it is then.”

 

Eliot could live with that. He liked to read. He could definitely pick up a few books for himself. 

 

The silence in the car was strained and uncomfortable. He was screwing up pretty badly with Sterling’s daughter, and what was worse was that he actually cared that he was screwing up. He wanted Olivia to like him. He knew it would make Sterling happy, and for some reason he actually cared about Sterling’s happiness. 

 

Those thoughts were moving into territory that Eliot was pretending didn’t exist. So far it was working out nicely for him. Every once in a while thoughts like the fact that he actually cared about Sterling’s happiness popped up unbidden. Though it seemed to be happening more and more often lately. Still, he pushed them aside. 

 

The bookstore was empty this time in the morning, though there were more than a few people in the cafe having coffee. Olivia left the two of them in search of books. Sterling placed his hand on Eliot’s back. “Are you okay? You seem off. Are you upset about the relationship talk?”

 

“I don’t know what’s wrong. I’m usually so much better at this. I just want her to like me.”

 

“Just be yourself. She knows about you and about your team. You don’t need to hide anything from her.”

 

“That’s a relief. I guess.”

 

“It’ll be fine.” Sterling took Eliot’s hand in his and led him around the bookstore. Eliot didn’t have it in him to pull his hand away despite the fact that it looked like they were a couple browsing the bookstore. He just hoped nobody from the team showed up. He figured he was safe from that. 

 

The rest of the day went a little easier, though he still felt like an idiot when it came to Olivia. What was it about her that unnerved him so?

 

Back at Sterling’s place, Eliot cooked dinner for everyone and after, Olivia called it a night and headed back to her place leaving him alone with Sterling. 

 

“That could have gone worse.”

 

Eliot snorted. “It could have gone a lot better.”

 

Sterling shrugged. “I’m not worried about it.”

 

Eliot helped Sterling with the dishes and tried to stifle a yawn. Shopping all day with Olivia had worn him out. He could go home, take a nap, and then get some reading done. He needed to work on his garden too. 

 

“I should head out now.”

 

Sterling grabbed his wrist and tugged Eliot to him. “You know, you’ve cooked me dinner a couple of times now but have yet to cook me breakfast.”

 

It wasn’t hard to figure out what Sterling was asking for. Nine months in and he hadn’t stayed the night once. Maybe it was time. Clearly this was more than just sex. They were in a relationship. Eliot just didn’t know what kind or how he felt about it. 

 

Eliot leaned in to whisper in Sterling’s ear. “I guess we should do something about that.”

 

Sterling grinned and kissed him before leading him back to the bedroom. They took turns in the bathroom and Eliot shucked his jeans off before crawling into bed with Sterling. He didn’t know if Sterling was the cuddling type. Some of the women Eliot had been with had been the cuddling type and some hadn’t been. He had always focused on his partner’s pleasure during sex and the same went for after sex as well. If Sterling wanted to cuddle he wasn’t going to push him away. 

 

Sterling stayed on his side of the bed. Eliot was a bit disappointed even as he thought that maybe Sterling was staying on his side of the bed because he wasn’t sure if cuddling would drive Eliot from his bed. Even with that in mind, Eliot stayed where he was. 

 

***

 

Eliot hadn’t been asleep for long when he unsurprisingly found himself wide awake. He eased himself out of bed, careful not to wake Sterling, and left the bedroom. He went to Sterling’s well stocked bookshelves and found something to read. 

 

He took the book to the kitchen, made himself some tea, and relaxed. He was about halfway through the book when Sterling shuffled into the kitchen. 

 

“I know you don’t sleep much, but it’s okay if you want to read in bed. You don’t have to sit out here.”

 

“I didn’t want to disturb you.”

 

“I know. Now come back to bed.”

 

Eliot smiled and followed Sterling back into the bedroom. Sterling was asleep before Eliot had even opened his book. He watched Sterling sleep for a few minutes before he went back to his reading. 

 

It didn’t take long to finish the book. He thought about getting another one but then Sterling caught his attention again. With a smirk he set the book down on the nightstand and then as quietly as he could, he pulled out the lube and a condom and laid them out on the bed.

 

He scooted over to Sterling and slid a hand under his t-shirt to stroke his stomach while trailing kisses along Sterling’s jaw and neck. Sterling sighed and murmured, “Eliot.”

 

Eliot kept doing what he was doing until he had more of Sterling’s attention. 

 

“It’s the middle of the night, Eliot,” Sterling griped. 

 

Eliot slid his hand down and cupped Sterling’s erection. “Doesn’t seem like you really mind.”

 

Sterling grinned and turned his head so he could kiss Eliot. Laughing, Eliot kissed him back and started pushing Sterling’s t-shirt up, only stopping when he got high enough that they would have to break the kiss. 

 

When they finally did, Eliot rid them of their clothes quickly and started working Sterling open as he stretched out over him, kissing him again. This was different from how they normally had sex. This was slow and quiet, and when Eliot sank into Sterling, his breath caught and he felt warm and content. 

 

He leaned down to kiss Sterling as he started thrusting, keeping them at that slow, sleepy pace. Sterling wrapped his arms around Eliot, keeping him close. Sterling pulled out of the kiss and let his head fall back against the pillow. His eyes were closed and his mouth was open. Eliot liked seeing him like this. Eliot was finding out that there were actually a lot of things that he liked about Sterling. 

 

“Do you need a hand?” Eliot asked. Most of the time Sterling could come without being touched, but every once in a while he did need a hand.

 

“No,” Sterling gasped. 

 

Eliot nosed at Sterling’s neck and then bit down gently. Sterling came with a shudder and a sigh, Eliot right behind him. Eliot didn’t move, burying his face into Sterling’s neck, Sterling’s hands running up and down his back. 

 

Once he got his breathing under control, he lifted his head so he could kiss Sterling, but Sterling’s eyes were closed and it was clear that he was already falling back asleep. Eliot sighed and pulled out of Sterling. He tossed the condom and pulled the blankets around them as he curled up next to Sterling. He put an arm around Sterling, and Sterling rolled onto his side to wrap an arm around Eliot. 

 

So Sterling was a cuddler. Good to know. 

 

***

 

Eliot had fallen asleep quickly and had stayed asleep for the rest of the night. He was up before Sterling, so he slid out of Sterling’s embrace so he could get breakfast started for the two of them. He pulled on his boxers but nothing else and padded out to the kitchen. 

 

He knew Sterling had only been kidding about breakfast, but Eliot wanted to make it for him anyway. It would be something simple anyway. Sterling’s kitchen still wasn’t as well stocked as Eliot’s was, even though he had been making an effort to keep more food for Eliot to cook with. 

 

Sterling didn’t stumble into the kitchen until Eliot had already finished cooking their breakfast. Sterling came up to him at the stove and wrapped his arms around him. “I like the sight of you in my kitchen in the morning. We might have to do this again.”

 

Eliot laughed and shooed Sterling off to the table where Eliot had already put orange juice out for the two of them. He shoveled food onto two plates for them and brought them to the table. 

 

They didn’t talk while they ate. Sterling was not quite awake yet and it was a comfortable silence, so Eliot didn’t see the point in trying to start up a conversation with Sterling.

 

“I should go,” Eliot stated once they had finished breakfast. “I have some things I need to do at the house.”

 

“I have some errands I need to run anyway.”

 

They cleaned the dishes together and then Eliot got dressed. Sterling walked him to the door. He didn’t know if Sterling was going to invite him back over for later that evening but it didn’t matter because Eliot beat him to the punch. “You should come by tonight. I’ll cook us dinner. And a better breakfast than the one we just finished.”

 

Sterling smiled at him and kissed him. “Until tonight then.”

 

Eliot’s thoughts were swirling as he made his way home. He had feelings for Sterling and they were of the warm and fuzzy kind. He didn’t know when that had happened or how it had happened.

 

Eliot just knew that he was well and truly fucked.


	3. Chapter 3

 

“We’re coming up on a year, Eliot.”

 

“Yes, but a year of what?”

 

Sterling sighed. “I don’t understand why you can’t just tell them.”

 

It was an argument that they kept having and that neither of them seemed to be willing to compromise on. “Because they still hate you. It doesn’t matter that you’ve been nice to them for the past year. They still hate you and they still don’t trust you. How well do you think they’re going to take it if I tell them that I’ve been having sex with you?”

 

“Is that all you care about? Do you really not care about me at all in any of this?”

 

“It’s my team, Sterling. If I don’t want them to know then I don’t want them to know. I don’t see why you want them to know so badly anyway.”

 

“Maybe because I’d like to take you out to dinner instead of hiding like we’re ashamed of what we’re doing.”

 

Eliot didn’t say anything and Sterling’s face fell.

 

“Oh. So that’s how it is. I see. Well, I guess I’ll see you around then.”

 

Sterling walked out of Eliot’s house and Eliot collapsed on the couch. He didn’t like fighting with Sterling like this. He didn’t mind the bickering and the bantering that they did, but this was serious. It made him ache inside. 

 

Still, he wasn’t going to tell his team. They didn’t need to know.

 

 

“If Sterling hadn’t gotten in the way then there wouldn’t have been a problem. Why is it that he was working with us anyway?”

 

“How about because I’m the one who brought the case to you and your team in the first place.”

 

“So that means we have to automatically include you?”

 

“Okay, okay,” Nate interrupted. “What the hell is going on with you two? You seem more vicious than usual.”

 

It had been a month since their big fight and the only time Eliot and Sterling had been together was during this case. He was still angry at Sterling for insisting that they tell the team but at the same time he had missed Sterling more than he cared to admit. He had been short with the team and they had definitely noticed. 

 

“I don’t know what you’re talking about, Nate. There isn’t anything out of the ordinary here. Eliot is just being thick as always.”

 

Eliot growled and started towards Sterling. He stopped before he did anything though. Once upon a time he didn’t mind beating the shit out of Sterling. Things were different now, even if they were fighting. For his part, Sterling hadn’t flinched. Had he known that Eliot wouldn’t hit him? Or was he worried that Eliot would but didn’t want to show it.

 

“What are you going to do, Eliot? Hit me?”

 

Eliot shook his head. “I…” He didn’t finish that thought. The rest of the team was still standing there, probably waiting for Eliot to hit Sterling. He wouldn’t though. He couldn’t.

 

He grabbed a chair and slammed it against a table, breaking the chair instead and then stormed out of the restaurant. 

 

It had been so hard working with Sterling over the past few days. He was angry but he had wanted nothing more than to take Sterling home with him and show him how much he had missed him. 

 

He didn’t know what this was. He had never felt this way before. It was confusing. 

 

He hadn’t even been home for an hour when there was a knock at the door. He was surprised to find Sophie standing at the door.

 

“Sophie? What are you doing here?”

 

“I’m here to talk to you about Sterling,” Sophie replied, breezing past him and into the house. 

 

“And why would I want to talk about Sterling?”

 

“Oh please, Eliot. I read people for a living. This lover’s quarrel that you and Sterling have been having for the past month has got to stop.”

 

Eliot gaped at her. 

 

“Eliot, please. Sit down and talk to me. I’m not here to judge. I’m here to help.”

 

Sophie was offering to talk to Eliot about Sterling, the one thing that Eliot hadn’t been able to do with anyone this entire time. She seemed sincere, but Eliot couldn’t be sure.

 

“The rest of the team have no idea, if that makes you feel better, and I won’t tell them. That’s up to you.”

 

“That’s what we’re fighting about,” Eliot admitted.

 

“Sterling wants you to tell us?”

 

Eliot nodded.

 

“Eliot, how long has this thing been going on between the two of you?”

 

“Just over a year now.”

 

“Eliot, are you in love with Sterling?”

 

“What? It’s Sterling. How can you ask me that?” Eliot’s heart was pounding though. Was this what he had been feeling?

 

“Eliot, does the fact that Sterling is a guy bother you?”

 

“No. That’s not an issue. It never really was.”

 

“Had you been with a man before?”

 

Eliot shook his head.

 

“And it wasn’t an issue? Good for you. Next question. Have you been holding him at arm’s length because he’s Sterling? Have you ever thought of him as the man you love?”

 

“I’ve been in love before. It was nothing like this.”

 

Sophie chuckled. “Of course it wasn’t, Eliot. You were quite a bit younger when you were in love. It’s different now. You’re in an adult relationship.”

 

Eliot swallowed hard. “Love? It can’t be.”

 

“Why? Because it’s Sterling? Eliot, does it really matter? Have you not enjoyed his company for the past year?”

 

Eliot thought about everything that had happened in the past year and how he had ignored and pushed aside his growing feelings for Sterling. He did enjoy Sterling’s company. He enjoyed everything about Sterling, actually. That was something he hadn’t been able to say a year ago, but it was true now. 

 

He loved Sterling but had closed himself off to the possibility because it had been Sterling. He was an idiot. He was surprised that Sterling had put up with him for as long as he had. 

 

“Sophie.”

 

“Don’t worry. It’s not too late. It was obvious to me that he’s still in love with you. Things need to change though, Eliot.”

 

“I know. I need to start treating him better.”

 

“You need to tell him how you really feel.”

 

Eliot nodded. “I can fix this. I have to fix this.”

 

Sophie took his hand and gave it a squeeze. “The two of you will be fine. You’re good for each other.”

 

Eliot snorted. “You’re joking, right?”

 

“I’m not. Goodnight, Eliot. Let me know if I can help at all. I’m more than happy to.”

 

“Thank you, Sophie. Goodnight.”

 

Once Sophie was gone, Eliot started working on a plan. He needed to get back in Sterling’s good graces, and Olivia’s as well. He needed to prove to Sterling that he was serious about them and that he wanted things to work between them. 

 

Eliot had a lot of work to do.

 

Eliot was sitting with his team at the restaurant, the two seats next to him empty, waiting and nervous as hell. He had no idea if Sterling was going to forgive him so he didn’t even know if Sterling was going to show up. What would happen if Sterling did show up? How was the team going to take the news? Sophie was supporting him but would everyone else? He wasn’t so sure. Especially Nate. Nate was going to be the hardest to convince even though he had the best relationship with Sterling of all of them. Well, except for him now, of course. 

 

Not that it mattered what they thought. What mattered was whether or not they would let him stay on the team. He could deal if they didn’t like the idea of him and Sterling together. If they didn’t like it then that was their problem. He just hoped they didn’t start hating him because of Sterling. He liked working with them. He didn’t want anything to happen to that. 

 

“Well hello all,” a familiar voice said from behind him.

 

“Get lost, Sterling. We’re waiting for Eliot’s girlfriend to show up.” Hardison was shooting daggers at Sterling. 

 

Eliot didn’t turn around. He wasn’t ready to let them know just yet. He figured Sterling would want to have a bit of fun anyway. 

 

“Is that so? You’re waiting for her here, Eliot? What kind of gentleman are you? Can’t even pick your girl up?”

 

Eliot turned to Sterling and smirked. “And what would you know about being a gentleman?”

 

“I would know enough to have introduced her to my team before a year had gone by.”

 

Eliot pouted at Sterling. “Ouch. You’re hitting below the belt tonight.”

 

Sterling shrugged. “Sorry. But you deserved it.”

 

Eliot sighed. “I know.”

 

Sterling nodded and then pulled out the seat next to Hardison. Olivia, who had been hiding behind Sterling this whole time, sat down in it. Eliot grabbed the bouquet of flowers that was sitting on the floor next to him and handed them to Olivia. There was a card for her too. Sterling had already gotten his flowers and his card. That card must have expressed what he had wanted it to since Sterling was here. He had worked hard on both of the cards so that was nice to know. 

 

Eliot didn’t dare glance at any of his team. He had no idea what they were thinking. He didn’t know why they hadn’t said anything yet. 

 

Olivia was the first one to say something. “You’re an idiot.”

 

“I know.”

 

“So is my dad.”

 

“Agreed.”

 

Sterling huffed but otherwise kept out of it. 

 

“Does this mean that you’ll forgive me?”

 

“Will you promise to not be that stupid again?”

 

“I can promise to try my best not to be that stupid again. Things are going to be different from now on though so you don’t have to worry about that.”

 

Olivia smiled at him. “I guess that’s the best I’m going to get, aren’t I?”

 

Eliot shrugged and Olivia held out her arms for a hug. Eliot got up from his seat so he could hug her. When he straightened up Sterling was still standing there, arms crossed.

 

“I didn’t know you had such a way with words,” Sterling told him, referring to the card that Eliot had written.

 

“I needed you to know how sorry I am.”

 

“Is that why we’re having dinner with your team?”

 

“That’s part of it.”

 

Sterling didn’t say anything and Eliot knew that this was up to him. He needed to make things right. 

 

“I missed you,” Eliot admitted, loud enough for everyone to hear.

 

Sterling’s eyes widened and he glanced at Eliot’s team at the table before smiling and stepping into Eliot’s space. Eliot cupped Sterling’s face as Sterling wound his arms around Eliot. He kissed Sterling in front of his team and then wrapped his arms around Sterling to hug him.

 

“I missed you too,” Sterling whispered in his ear. 

 

“I’m sorry.”

 

“I know. I am too”

 

He kissed Sterling again and they both took their seats. Eliot finally dared to look at the rest of his team. Sophie was smiling at them but the rest of the team all had looks of horror on their faces. He was disappointed to see that. He had hoped that since Sterling hadn’t tried to interfere and had even helped them over the past year that they might be okay with this. Or that maybe they would at least give Sterling a chance. 

 

“Sterling? Really? That’s who you’ve been seeing for the past year?” Hardison looked not only horrified but pissed as well. 

 

Eliot opened his mouth to say something but Sophie interrupted. “Olivia, how is school going?” 

 

Eliot shot her a grateful look. Hopefully things would start flowing normally now and everyone else would attempt civilized conversation with him and Sterling. Maybe they would also stop looking at Eliot like he was insane. 

 

Eliot wasn’t insane. He and Sterling had something good. He hadn’t been able to see that at first. He had been too clouded by his team’s views even when he had stopped thinking like them long ago when it came to Sterling. 

 

He loved Sterling and he wasn’t going to let this bother him. If they didn’t like it then they were just going to have to deal with it. Sterling wasn’t going anywhere. Eliot was in this for the long haul. 

 

Olivia was in the middle of a conversation with Sophie when Nate got up and left the table. Hardison followed shortly after with Parker trailing behind him. Parker at least looked reluctant to leave. 

 

Eliot sighed and Sterling rested a hand on his shoulder. 

 

“You can leave too if you want, Sophie. Maybe we should all just go home. This was clearly a mistake.”

 

“Don’t be ridiculous. Of course I’m going to stay and the four of us are going to have a nice dinner.”

 

Their waiter moved them to a booth since there was just the four of them now. Olivia sat next to Sophie and Eliot slid in next to Sterling. Under the table Sterling took his hand and gave it a squeeze. Eliot smiled at him but it wasn’t a real smile and Sterling knew that. Eliot just couldn’t right now. He wanted his team’s reaction to not mean anything, but the truth was that it did matter. He hated the way they had all looked at him and Sterling. He hated knowing that they were wondering what had gotten in to him. 

 

Whatever Eliot had expected from his team, it certainly hadn’t been this. To just walk out on dinner with them when Sterling’s daughter had joined them. It would be different if it had just been him and Sterling. That still wouldn’t have made it okay though. He couldn’t believe that after all these years his team would react like that. Then again, this was exactly why Eliot hadn’t wanted to tell them. 

 

He hoped Sterling didn’t feel bad about that. He had pushed Eliot to do this, yes, but he had been right. It had needed to be done. He didn’t blame Sterling for this. He leaned into Sterling and whispered in his ear. “I don’t blame you for this.”

 

“Well I do.”

 

“Don’t. They needed to know. You were right. It’s not your fault they handled it the way that they did. I’m just sorry they did it in front of Olivia. She’s done nothing wrong.”

 

“Don’t you worry about Olivia. She’s tough. She can handle your team.”

 

Eliot smiled, a real one this time, and leaned in to kiss Sterling. He cupped Sterling’s cheek and then ran his fingers through Sterling’s hair. Sterling let out a sigh.

 

Conversation across the table had stopped and Eliot turned to see Olivia and Sophie watching the two of them. 

 

“What?”

 

Sophie shook her head. “I just never imagined you could be so sweet, Eliot. Romantic? Yes. Sweet? Not really.”

 

“It still surprises me,” Sterling added helpfully.

 

Eliot elbowed Sterling gently in the side and Sterling just laughed.

 

“Traitor,” he muttered.

 

Sterling grinned and kissed his cheek. Eliot was about to give him a little smack when their food arrived.

 

“I’m surprised Nate hasn’t come back for you and tried to drag you out of here.”

 

“Oh he knows better than that. Don’t worry. I’ll talk to him for you. It’ll take some time but I think he’ll come around. You’re the one who’s going to have to talk to Hardison though.”

 

“I guess he’s not as good a friend as I thought.”

 

“Eliot, you can’t place all the blame on him. You did keep this a secret for a year.”

 

Eliot groaned and scrubbed a hand over his face. “Yeah, I know. I’ll talk to him.”

 

The rest of dinner went smoothly enough. They kept conversation light and sparse, focusing instead on their food. 

 

They said goodbye to Sophie outside the restaurant. They hugged Olivia, made plans to see her soon, and bid her farewell also. 

 

“Sterling, why don’t you come over to my place tonight.”

 

Sterling leaned in with a smile and kissed him. “I’ll see you there.”

 

Sterling showed up at his place not long after he got there himself. Eliot was already washing up for the night. He just wanted to get to bed with Sterling by his side. He had missed that. 

 

They got into bed and Sterling wrapped an arm around him. He sighed and fell asleep easily.

 

***

 

He poured himself a cup of tea and sat on one of the stools at the counter with his book. It was something he found himself doing often these days. He slept longer than he used to but he just couldn’t pull off a full night. He didn’t think he would ever be able to. 

 

He wasn’t alone for long, and really he shouldn’t be surprised by that, when Sterling wound his arms around Eliot and tucked his chin onto Eliot’s shoulder. Eliot leaned back against him but continued reading his book. 

 

He finished his chapter and then put the book down, settling his hands on Sterling’s arms. 

 

“Eliot, when you said you missed me…”

 

Eliot held back a snort. “Of course I missed the sex. I would be an idiot to not have missed it. I missed you though. I missed this.”

 

“I’m sorry. I just had to…”

 

Eliot turned around and held Sterling close. He had to make up for a year of treating Sterling like Sterling and it wasn’t going to be easy. 

 

“Come back to bed?” Sterling asked. “You can bring your book with you since I know you won’t be able to sleep. Just… stay with me.”

 

How could Eliot refuse that? “Yeah. Okay. Let’s go.”

 

He grabbed his book and followed Sterling back into the bedroom. Sterling waited until Eliot was settled with his book and then curled around him. Eliot ran his fingers through Sterling’s hair. He had definitely missed this. How was it possible that he had continued to treat Sterling so badly when it was clear to Eliot that he was crazy about him? He wished he would have figured that out sooner. 

 

He read until he felt he could sleep well enough. He set his book aside and looked down at Sterling. He had shifted away from Eliot in his sleep. Instead of turning the light off and going to sleep, he slid down and pressed himself against Sterling. He slid a hand under Sterling’s tee so he could stroke Sterling’s stomach and nuzzled at Sterling’s neck. 

 

Sterling was getting a little bit of a stomach and Eliot kind of loved it. Ever since this thing had started, Eliot had loved Sterling’s stomach. He liked the idea of it getting a bit bigger though. Not something Eliot would have ever thought he would enjoy. 

 

Sterling sighed and shifted in his sleep. Eliot smiled and placed a kiss on Sterling’s jaw. Sterling sighed again and rolled onto his side, wrapping his arms around Eliot and kissing him. Eliot startled. He hadn’t known that Sterling had woken up. He put his arms around Sterling and pulled him in closer. 

 

Sterling was warm and pliant in his arms and Eliot could have pushed to go further. Instead he pulled away. He cupped Sterling’s cheek, gently brushing it with his thumb. Sterling was already starting to fall back asleep. There was a soft smile on his lips. 

 

Eliot reached out to turn out the bedside lamp and then ran his fingers through Sterling’s hair, brushing a kiss against his forehead. Sterling slept. 

 

As much as he wanted to have sex with Sterling, now wasn’t the time. They had some things they needed to work out and fix. They had some rebuilding to do, and Eliot wanted to hold off on sex until things were better. 

 

He was going to make things better.

 

***

 

Eliot’s phone buzzed. Sighing Eliot pulled away from Sterling to answer it. Hardison told him they had a new case. Eliot was surprised that Hardison was the one calling him. 

 

He hung up the phone and groaned. 

 

“Job?”

 

“Yeah.”

 

“Are you worried about seeing them?”

 

“After that dinner last night? Wouldn’t you be?”

 

“They called you in for a job. It can’t be that bad.”

 

Eliot leaned over and kissed Sterling before dragging himself out of bed so he could shower. Sterling got up as well. 

 

“Come over to my place tonight?”

 

“I’ll be there.”

 

Sterling stole another kiss before gathering his things and heading out of the bedroom. He would be gone by the time Eliot got out of the shower. 

 

He made it to the restaurant after everyone had already arrived. 

 

“Who called Eliot?” Nate asked.

 

“I did. We need him for this job,” Hardison replied. 

 

“We’ll get by without him. Eliot is no longer part of this team.”

 

Eliot opened his mouth to reply but closed it. What was the point? Sophie was looking at him sympathetically but the rest of the team still had horrified looks on their faces. He stormed out of the restaurant and headed back home where he changed and started taking out his frustrations on his punching bag. 

 

He had been at it for a while when Sterling showed up. 

 

“How did you know?” Eliot asked without stopping.

 

“Sophie texted me.”

 

“Why are you here?”

 

“I wanted to see if I could help or to see if you wanted to talk.”

 

“I’m fine.”

 

Sterling rested a hand on his arm, even as Eliot continued hitting the punching bag. 

 

Finally, Eliot just stopped and sagged, and Sterling was there to hold him up. 

 

“Come on. Let’s get you cleaned up.”

 

Sterling led him to the shower where he helped Eliot out of clothes and then removed his own. He got into the shower with Eliot and started cleaning him. 

 

Eliot thought about arguing but Sterling washing him was soothing so he sighed and relaxed into Sterling’s touch instead. 

 

After Sterling had cleaned him he helped him out of the shower and dried him off. 

 

“There. All clean. Now go lay in bed on your stomach.”

 

Eliot did as he was told and was soon joined on the bed by Sterling. Sterling opened up the bedside drawer and rummaged around for a bit. He pulled away when he found what he needed but he was too quick for Eliot to see what he had grabbed. 

 

Eliot was surprised when he heard the snick of a cap. He didn’t think Sterling intended to have sex with him so he wasn’t sure what was about to happen. 

 

Eliot let out a groan of satisfaction when Sterling started kneading the muscles in his shoulders. Eliot felt the tension melt away as Sterling worked the muscles all through his back and then down his legs and finally finishing with his arms. Eliot was pretty sure he was boneless by the end of it. 

 

“I think we should take a trip,” he murmured. 

 

“A vacation? Just the two of us?”

 

“Yeah. We can find somewhere we both like and then just spend some quality time together.”

 

Sterling stretched out on the bed next to him. “I suppose you want to go fishing.”

 

“That would be nice.”

 

“As long as we can stay in a nice hotel at the end of it.”

 

Eliot snorted. “I think that can be arranged.”

 

“Would you listen to us? Compromising about vacation like adults.”

 

“An adult? Is that what I am? That’s terrifying.”

 

Sterling tugged Eliot to him and kissed him. “If it helps, I kind of like you, even though you’re an adult.”

 

Eliot huffed. “Thanks. I think.”

 

“So should we start planning this thing then?”

 

“As long as I don’t have to move.”

 

“I’ll get my laptop. We can do it here.”

 

Eliot smiled and kissed Sterling. They were going to be just fine.

 

It had taken them a while to find a place that they both liked, but it was worth it. Their suite was huge and the view was spectacular. 

 

They had already eaten dinner and were settling in for the night. Eliot opened the balcony door, welcoming the cool, fresh air. Sterling came up behind him and wrapped his arms around him. 

 

“This was a good idea.”

 

“Of course it was.”

 

Sterling nipped at his ear but didn’t say anything back. They stood there silently listening as the ocean crashed against the shore.

 

“You should sleep. We’re going to have to be up really early if we want to get to the lake in time.”

 

They were staying by the ocean so Sterling could have his nice hotel, but that meant they were going to have to spend a decent amount of time in the morning to actually get to the lake so they could fish. It was a small lake and a private one. They were paying for the privilege of that privacy, but it would be worth it. 

 

“Are you going to join me?”

 

“For a little while.” He closed the balcony door as he followed Sterling back to their bedroom. 

 

They curled up around each other and Eliot found himself drifting away. 

 

***

 

He awoke early in the morning. It was silent and still and he couldn’t believe that he had just managed to sleep through the night with Sterling. 

 

They were going to have to get up soon if they wanted to make it to the lake at a decent hour. He was loathe to wake Sterling though. 

 

It was taken out of his hands when Sterling stirred and blinked sleepily at him. 

 

“Ready to go fishing?” Eliot asked.

 

Sterling groaned. “Too sleepy.”

 

Eliot chuckled and tickled Sterling until he rolled out of bed just to get away from Eliot. 

 

“You’re evil. I don’t know why I put up with you.”

 

Eliot laughed and got their fishing supplies ready as Sterling freshened up. 

 

Eliot took his turn in the bathroom and when he walked out, Sterling was sitting on the bed looking dejected. Eliot didn’t think he had ever seen Sterling look so unhappy before. And it was his fault. He had done this to Sterling. He was the reason Sterling was so unhappy right now. 

 

He stood there stunned by just how much the sight of Sterling hurting hurt him. And not just because it was his fault. He didn’t want to see Sterling like this ever. It was only worse knowing that he was the cause of it. 

 

Screw fishing. This trip was about fixing their relationship and that was what they needed to do. Fishing was not what he needed to do. 

 

He sat down on the bed next to Sterling and wrapped his arms around him. Eliot was about to do something he’d never done before. They needed to talk to fix this and that was what Eliot was going to do.

 

“I’m sorry. I really am. I want to fix things too. I screwed up badly and I know that. I’m going to try, I really am, but I don’t know how to fix this. I’m not saying that things are going to be perfect from now on or that I’m going to be perfect, but I am going to try. I love you, Jim, and I’m going to start treating you the way I would treat any person that I loved. You don’t deserve any less.”

 

Sterling didn’t say anything but Eliot had noticed the shudder when Eliot had called him Jim. He kept talking. He hoped Sterling believed what he was saying. 

 

“I want to take you on those dates you’ve been wanting to go on. Hell, if Hardison ever forgives me we can go on double dates with him and Parker. That might be a bit terrifying, but we can try it. And we can go out with your coworkers too if you want. If they know about me. If you’re even out to them. We can do all the things that couples normally do. I want to do all those things with you.”

 

“I have a picture of you, me, and Olivia on my desk at work.”

 

“Shit,” Eliot muttered. “I’m such an ass. You should have kicked me to the curb months ago. What the hell is wrong with you?”

 

Sterling snorted. “I’ve asked myself that more than once.”

 

“Jim,” he breathed into Sterling’s ear. 

 

Sterling shuddered. “I love you too, you know.” Sterling turned to face him and Eliot cupped his face and kissed him. 

 

“What do you want to do?” Eliot murmured against Sterling’s lips. 

 

“I think we should go fishing.”

 

“Are you sure? We don’t have to. We can stay here and relax.”

 

“We can relax later. You like fishing, so let’s go fishing.”

 

Eliot grinned and kissed Sterling. “I don’t deserve you.”

 

“No you don’t, but now you’re stuck with me so you’d better get used to it.”

 

They made their way out to the lake. They had perfect weather for it. Sterling grumbled about it being too cold though, so Eliot gave him his sweatshirt. He could have sworn that Sterling blushed. It was cute, though Eliot would never admit that to anyone. 

 

Sterling stretched out on the seat and dozed while Eliot fished. His mind wasn’t really on fishing though. He couldn’t seem to focus on anything except Sterling. 

 

He pulled the fishing rod back into the boat and sank down to his knees in between the seats. He rested a hand on Sterling’s thigh and nuzzled at Sterling. 

 

“Aren’t you supposed to be fishing?”

 

“I’d rather be doing other things.”

 

He unzipped Sterling’s pants and pulled his rapidly hardening dick out. He licked at the head and Sterling groaned.

 

“Eliot, what are you doing? We don’t have any condoms on the boat. Unless you brought some.”

 

“No condoms.”

 

Eliot took Sterling into his mouth letting out his own groan at the taste. This wasn’t something they did often. Blow jobs with condoms just weren’t much fun. That had been Eliot’s fault though. They had both been tested and they were both clean, but Eliot hadn’t wanted to stop using condoms. It was too much of a commitment. Or at least it had been.

 

Now though he reveled in the taste of Sterling in his mouth. He brought Sterling to completion and sighed happily as he zipped Sterling back up.

 

“Just give me a minute and I’ll take care of you.”

 

“No. Don’t worry about me. We have plenty of time for that later.”

 

He rested his head on Sterling’s chest as he stroked Sterling’s stomach. This trip had definitely been a good idea. He felt good and it looked like Sterling was feeling better too. 

 

***

 

Eliot had Sterling laid out on the bed beneath him. It had been too long since they had done this, not when Eliot had gotten used to having sex with him almost every night. He nuzzled at Sterling’s neck as Sterling stroked his hands along Eliot’s sides. 

 

“I missed this,” Eliot admitted against Sterling’s neck.

 

“I missed it too. Do you think maybe we could just get on with it?”

 

Eliot snorted out a laugh but reached for lube they had set out earlier. This would be the first time they were doing this bare. Eliot was kind of excited about it, and he hoped that Sterling was too. 

 

“What made you decide to forgo the condoms?”

 

“It was time. It was time a while ago. I was just too afraid to admit what we are.”

 

“I must admit, I’ve been waiting for this for some time now.” Sterling let his legs fall open and it was positively obscene. 

 

“Jesus.”

 

Sterling chuckled, knowing exactly what it was he was doing to Eliot. Eliot lubed up his fingers and pushed one into Sterling without warning or pause. Sterling just sighed and let his legs fall open further. Eliot fucked Sterling with his finger, not giving Sterling much time to adjust before slipping in a second finger. He sped up his fingers and was anything but gentle. 

 

“I’m ready, Eliot. Just fuck me already.”

 

Eliot laughed. “You know, this wasn’t really how I imagined things going on this trip.”

 

Sterling’s face fell from the smirk that it had been in. “Are you disappointed?”

 

“Fuck no. Do you really think I’d be disappointed about having sex with you, no matter how we were doing it?” He slicked up his dick and eased himself into Sterling. He paused to let them both adjust, kissing Sterling while he had the chance. “Are we good?”

 

“We’re good.”

 

Eliot fell back onto his haunches, pulling Sterling with him and settling him onto to his lap. He grasped Sterling’s ankles, grinned at Sterling, and then fucked him earnestly and with vigor. Sterling melted into the mattress, hands fisting into the sheets. 

 

Sterling came after about a dozen or so really good thrusts, probably already worked up nicely from Eliot’s fingers. Eliot shifted so he wasn’t hitting Sterling’s prostate and started thrusting harder and more erratically until he was finally coming inside of Sterling. That thought alone kept him thrusting through his orgasm and even after it, only stopping when he was finally too sensitive to continue doing it.

 

With a groan he collapsed on top of Sterling. Sterling’s hands immediately found their way to his hair, running his fingers through it as Eliot tried to get his breathing under control. He was still inside of Sterling, now that he didn’t have to take a condom off, and he was really okay with just staying exactly like this.

 

After a few minutes, Sterling poked him. “You know, you don’t exactly weigh the same as a feather here.”

 

Eliot grunted and pulled out of Sterling. Sterling let out a hiss.

 

“Are you hurt? Was I too rough?”

 

“I’ll be fine.”

 

“Roll over and let me see.”

 

“Really, Eliot, that’s not necessary. I’ll be fine.”

 

Eliot glared at Sterling until Sterling relented and rolled over so Eliot could inspect him. Thankfully, Sterling wasn’t bleeding, though he did look like they would be holding off on sex for a bit. 

 

“What’s the verdict?”

 

“You’ll live.”

 

“Imagine my surprise.”

 

Eliot smacked his ass and was pleased when Sterling let out a little yelp. He lay back down and pulled Sterling into his arms. 

 

“We still have a few more days of that to look forward to,” Sterling stated sleepily, a smile on his face.

 

“I’m not sure I’m willing to put your ass through that again.”

 

Sterling pouted at him and Eliot barked out a laugh. “You’re insane,” he told Sterling affectionately.

 

“But you love me anyway.”

 

“That I do,” Eliot murmured against Sterling’s lips before kissing him sweetly. 

 

A vacation had been exactly what they needed.


	4. Chapter 4

 

It was Monday morning and Sterling was at work. Eliot could usually fill his time so easily, but he only found himself wanting to be with the team and working on a con. 

 

He killed some time ordering a bouquet of flowers to be sent to Sterling’s office. Sterling would like that. After that, he didn’t really know what to do.

 

He was at Sterling’s place. He could go back to his own. If he did then Sterling could spend the night at his place. Or he could just come back over here and spend the night at Sterling’s again. It was like they lived together.

 

And that thought didn’t terrify him. Maybe they should move in together. Eliot actually liked how that sounded. He could find a bigger place for the two of them even though Eliot’s place was plenty big. He wanted something bigger if this was going to be permanent.

 

He could go look at houses now and then he could show the one he liked to Sterling, and if Sterling liked it then they could show it to Olivia. 

 

Was it too big of a step for right now though? They were only just getting back on track after their little separation. Would Sterling even want to move in with him? Eliot was sure that he was ready for that kind of commitment. Now that he had admitted to being in love with Sterling, he wanted everything that came along with it. 

 

He knew that Sterling loved him, though Eliot still didn’t really know why. Sterling knew all about his past. Sterling knew what Eliot did for a living. Sterling knew things about Eliot’s past that nobody else did. Sterling knew the worst of Eliot, and he still loved Eliot. He still wanted to be with Eliot. 

 

If that wasn’t enough to drive Sterling away then there was a very good chance that Sterling wasn’t going to have a problem with the idea of moving in together. 

 

This was where their relationship was headed. This was where it had been heading the whole time, even when Eliot had been too stupid to realize it. 

 

He wanted this. He wanted a life with Sterling. 

 

He called up a realtor and spent the morning looking at houses. And he fell in love. He hoped that Sterling would fall in love too. 

 

He pulled out his phone and called Sterling. 

 

“Darling, I know that you’re bored but I do have some work I need to do so you’re going to have to figure out how to fill your time yourself.”

 

Eliot snorted. “Don’t be like that, Sterling. Besides, I have something that I need to show you. Are you sure you can’t meet me?”

 

Sterling sighed. “Is this time sensitive?”

 

“It kind of is.”

 

“Fine. Where am I meeting you?”

 

Eliot gave him the address of the house and Sterling promised he would be over in a few minutes. Eliot wandered around the house as he waited. It was a good house. It would be good for him and Sterling, and even for Olivia anytime she decided to stay over. The best part about the house was the kitchen. The kitchen was huge. Really huge. So was the master bedroom for that matter. Two very good reasons to want this house. 

 

Eliot heard a car pull up to the house, so he ran out and met Sterling outside. Sterling got out of the car, a look of confusion on his face. “What is all this?”

 

“I was doing some thinking. We’ve been spending all of our time together and I know that we’re still piecing our relationship back together, but I thought we could move in together.”

 

“And you’re actually okay with that?”

 

Eliot grinned at him. “Yeah. I really am.”

 

Sterling smiled. “Well then, shall we?”

 

Eliot held out his arm for Sterling to take and led him around the house. 

 

“This place is amazing. Are you sure that we can afford this with no worries?”

 

Eliot snorted. “You know everything about me and you don’t know how much money I have?”

 

Sterling rolled his eyes. “I take it that we’re set for life no matter what we do?”

 

“Pretty much.”

 

“I like it.”

 

“Should I go ahead and get it or should we talk to Olivia first?”

 

“Are you kidding? Did you see the other bedrooms? She’s going to love getting her hands on one of those and decorating.”

 

“And she’ll be okay with us moving in together?”

 

“Of course she will be.”

 

Eliot didn’t say anything.

 

“Would you like me to call her and see if she can come over and see the house for herself?”

 

Eliot kissed Sterling’s cheek and went to check out the kitchen again. It really was nice. He hoped Olivia wouldn’t have any problem with them living together. He needed her to be okay with this. 

 

Sterling found him in the kitchen. “She can’t make it but she wants us to get it.”

 

“Really?”

 

Sterling walked up to him and put his arms around Eliot. “She’s happy for us.”

 

“Then let’s do this.”

 

Eliot was sitting on the couch, phone in hand, when Sterling got home from work.

 

“What’s wrong?” Sterling asked, sitting down next to him on the couch. 

 

“I got a call from Hardison about an hour ago. They need me for a job, apparently. Nate wouldn’t call me himself though. Nate still doesn’t want me on the team. It would seem he was outvoted though.”

 

“So it’s just for this one case then?”

 

“That’s what it sounds like.”

 

“Why aren’t you there? This is what you want. Maybe it’s not exactly what you want right now, but at least it’s a step in the right direction.”

 

Eliot sighed. “I don’t know. Do I really want to let them think they can just call me whenever they need me and that I’ll come help them out?”

 

“You have to talk to them. You haven’t made any effort to talk to them. If you want to be a part of the team again, I think you need to do this.”

 

“When did you get to be so smart?”

 

Sterling smirked. “I’ve always been smart. You’ve just been too stupid to realize it.”

 

Eliot rolled his eyes and then wrapped his hand around the back of Sterling’s neck, pulling him in for a kiss. “I’ll try to get home as soon as I can.”

 

“You know that I can handle a night by myself, right? I’m not incapable.”

 

Eliot pressed another kiss to Sterling’s lips. “Maybe I want to come home early for other reasons.” He smiled against Sterling’s lips, kissed him once more, and then pulled away.

 

“You’ll be fine.”

 

“I’m glad you think so.”

 

“Hardison is your friend. He’ll forgive you. He’ll probably make you work for it though, and he’ll probably tease the hell out of you from now until the day you die.”

 

Eliot grimaced. “Maybe I don’t want to go back after all.”

 

“Let me know if you’re going to be late,” Sterling told him as he shoved Eliot off the couch. Eliot hadn’t been prepared for it and landed on his ass on the floor. Sterling laughed. 

 

Eliot huffed as he stood up. He glared at Sterling as best as he could, which really wasn’t that great at all because he wanted to smile, and left. He knew he needed to go. He just didn’t want them to try and discourage his relationship with Sterling. He didn’t want to hear all of the bad things they had to say about Sterling. 

 

Nobody said a word as he entered the room. Sophie nodded at him as he headed for Hardison. Eliot knew he was going to have to make things right with Hardison first. Parker stepped into his path, blocking his way. He could easily get around her, but he stopped and waited.

 

“It’s really weird,” Parker finally said.

 

“I’m not arguing with you.”

 

“Then why him?” Hardison asked, moving to stand next to Parker.

 

“I don’t know. It just happened. Nate and Sophie have each other. You and Parker have each other. Sterling and Olivia both know what I do for a living and they still want me in their life. I’m not going to find that anywhere else.”

 

“So Sterling is just a convenience?”

 

“He was.”

 

“How does somebody like Sterling even become a convenience? Since when do you sleep with guys? And this is Sterling we’re talking about. How in the hell does that even happen?”

 

Eliot had expected to answer questions about him and Sterling, but he honestly wasn’t prepared for it. It felt so personal and like it was none of their business. He figured he owed them though.

 

He sighed and crossed his hands over his chest. “Do you remember the last time I actually punched him? It was a little over a year ago now. Nate had asked me why I punched Sterling and I told you guys that it was because he was Sterling. That wasn’t true. We were in the middle of bickering, as usual, and he kissed me. So I punched him.”

 

“And then decided to sleep with him?”

 

“Not exactly. He left me alone for a few days and then he came to the restaurant. He made it clear that he would be home and alone for the entire weekend. He didn’t actually ask me to come over. It was all implied.”

 

“What made you decide to go?”

 

Eliot shrugged. “I couldn’t tell you. I was home and I had no intention of going and the next thing I know, I’m in bed with Sterling.”

 

“Sterling is a guy. Had you ever even slept with a guy before?”

 

Eliot shook his head. “He was the first.”

 

“And you were just okay with that?”

 

“Yes,” Eliot replied through gritted teeth. He didn’t understand what Hardison’s hang up on the guy thing was. It really hadn’t been a problem for Eliot.

 

“So it was just sex. With a guy.”

 

“Yes.”

 

“And is that still what it is?”

 

How could Hardison ask him that after Eliot had introduced Sterling to the team as the person he had been in a relationship with?

 

“Hardison, I’m in love with him,” Eliot admitted. The team needed to know that.

 

“You’re in love with Sterling.”

 

“Yes.”

 

“It’s still weird,” Parker stated.

 

“I know. I agree.”

 

“You beat him up.”

 

“I know.”

 

“You hated him.”

 

“I guess there really is a fine line between love and hate.”

 

Parker walked away without another word and Eliot knew that he had her approval. She might not understand it, but she accepted the fact that Eliot was with Sterling.

 

“I still don’t understand any of this. And why didn’t you tell us? Why did you keep it a secret from us for a year?”

 

Eliot glared at Hardison. “Because you’re taking it so well now?”

 

“Eliot didn’t tell us because he didn’t know he was in love with Sterling. Until that dinner, Eliot still assumed that it was just sex. He had no idea he was in love with Sterling. He had no idea Sterling was in love with him.”

 

Everyone’s attention was now on Sophie.

 

“Think about it. We’ve all, as a team, hated Sterling for quite some time. Eliot starts sleeping with him and probably still hates him. Then maybe he stops hating him but he doesn’t really like him, but at this point he’s so used to hating Sterling that it probably wasn’t even something he was aware of. He still thought of Sterling as Sterling, and by that I mean he thought of Sterling the way that we think of Sterling. He should have been thinking of Sterling as the person he loves, which is what he’s finally doing.”

 

Nobody said anything so Eliot decided to be the one to break the silence. “So is there actually a job that you need me for, or did you call me out here to interrogate me?”

 

Hardison pulled up their case on the screens and they went to work.

 

***

 

Sterling was waiting up for him even though the hour was late.

 

“Shouldn’t you be in bed?”

 

“I thought maybe you would need someone to talk to.”

 

Sterling set his book down and Eliot conceded. He stretched out on the couch with his head in Sterling’s lap. Sterling stroked his fingers through Eliot’s hair, something he knew that Eliot really enjoyed.

 

“You don’t look happy, but you don’t look angry either.”

 

“I’m confused.”

 

“What happened?”

 

“What you would expect, really. Hardison asked how it happened. He wanted to know if I still felt the same way I did back when it started, which of course I don’t. That’s essentially it. Parker approves, though she still doesn’t really understand it. We already know that Sophie approves. Nate still seems really angry about the whole thing. And I have no idea where I stand with Hardison. He’s having a hard time with everything. He’s having a hard time with me not telling him, with me being with a guy, with me being in love with you. I don’t know if he’s ever going to forgive me.”

 

“He’ll come around, Eliot.”

 

“I don’t know. I don’t think he will. I don’t think Nate ever will either.”

 

“I think they’ll both come around, darling.”

 

The hand that wasn’t playing with his hair was resting on his chest. Eliot twined their fingers together. “Sophie tried to explain to them why I didn’t tell them for so long. It was the same thing she told me that convinced me I was being an idiot.”

 

“And what was that?”

 

“That I was treating you like Sterling, the way the team saw Sterling anyway, not like someone I loved. She was right. I couldn’t see that I loved you. I was too blinded by how my team and I viewed you. You knew for a while how you felt though. Didn’t this start out as sex for you too?”

 

“It did.”

 

“When did it change for you?”

 

“That time you came back from a job and didn’t want to have sex. We had lunch together instead. Then you took a nap at my place and then we wound up having sex anyway. And then you cooked for me.”

 

“I remember that. So it was me cooking for you? Is that what did it?”

 

“You’re a good cook, Eliot. Your food is delicious. But that wasn’t it.”

 

“Then what was it?”

 

“You had lunch with me. You had dinner with me. We had conversations. It wasn’t just having sex and then you leaving. Things changed.”

 

Eliot didn’t have anything to say to that. Just a few months later and he had spent the entire day with Sterling and Olivia. After that one lunch Eliot had started spending more of his time with Sterling. They had meals together. He cooked for Sterling. They had sex and Eliot didn’t immediately run off after, or if he did, he had spent time with Sterling before sex. Things had changed and Eliot hadn’t even noticed.

 

“We should have them all over when our house is ready,” Sterling said, stirring him from his thoughts.

 

“My team? Like a housewarming?”

 

“Yes.”

 

Eliot snorted. “We are so domestic. How the hell did that happen?”

 

Sterling chuckled. “I have no idea. Now come on. Put the team from your mind. Come to bed with me and let me take care of you.”

 

Eliot liked the sound of that so he got off the couch and let Sterling lead him to bed. Sterling pressed him into the mattress and kissed him. Eliot wound his arms around Sterling and let himself relax. 

 

He stroked along Sterling’s back until Sterling pulled away so that he could take his shirt off, and then Eliot’s. When he stretched back out over Eliot, he forwent his lips in favor of Eliot’s neck. Eliot sighed and tilted his head to give Sterling better access.

 

Sterling made his way down Eliot’s body, kissing and tasting, his fingers ghosting down Eliot’s sides, sending shivers down his body. 

 

He unzipped Eliot’s jeans, pulling them and his briefs down. He took the time to pull his own pajama bottoms down and then grabbed a hold of Eliot’s dick, sliding his lips down as far as he could go. 

 

Blow jobs were something they had started doing more of since they had stopped using condoms. Sterling was good at it. Eliot wished that Sterling’s hair was longer. He ran his fingers through what there was but he wanted something he could hold onto and tug.

 

“Jim,” Eliot groaned. 

 

Sterling let Eliot’s dick fall from his mouth. “Roll over,” he growled.

 

Eliot did and Sterling began kissing his way down Eliot’s back, slowly working his way down until he reached Eliot’s ass. Sterling bit down, causing Eliot to yelp. He felt Sterling’s breath on him as he snickered.

 

Eliot’s cheek were pulled apart and Eliot felt Sterling’s tongue on him, tentative, like he wasn’t sure how Eliot was going to react. Eliot didn’t say anything but he did let out a small groan. It seemed to make Sterling a little bolder. He starting licking around Eliot’s rim without hesitation. 

 

They hadn’t done something like this yet. It had never even crossed Eliot’s mind. This was good though. He hoped Sterling didn’t stop.

 

Sterling pointed his tongue and pushed as best as he could into Eliot’s hole. He groaned and pushed back into Sterling. Sterling chuckled against him and then his tongue and mouth were both gone. 

 

Eliot was not going to beg.

 

He didn’t need to. He felt the tip of Sterling’s finger push into his hole and wriggle around, loosening the muscle. Eliot froze and Sterling stopped what he was doing.

 

“Shit. Eliot, I’m sorry. I didn’t even think. I was just going to keep using my tongue.”

 

“I know. It’s fine. Don’t stop. Please don’t stop.” So much for not begging. 

 

Sterling removed his finger and replaced it with his tongue. Now that the muscle was loosened Sterling was able to push his tongue in further. He ran his tongue around the walls and Eliot let out something that sounded very much like a whimper. 

 

It wasn’t enough. Eliot wanted more. Eliot wanted something else that they hadn’t done yet. He needed Sterling inside of him. 

 

“Jim,” Eliot gasped. “It’s not enough.”

 

“Well I don’t know how much more of my tongue you expect me to get inside of you.”

 

Eliot laughed. “That’s not what I meant.”

 

He swatted at Sterling’s head to get him to move out of the way and then rolled over. He lay flat on his back and planted his feet on the bed, knees bent and legs spread wide. It was a clear invitation.

 

Sterling’s eyes widened. “Oh.”

 

Sterling dug around in the drawer for the lube. He didn’t waste any time in pouring some on his fingers and then pressing one against Eliot. He looked up at Eliot, as if for confirmation, so Eliot smiled at him. Sterling pushed the finger into him and worked it in and out. It didn’t hurt too badly but it felt odd. If this was what it was like then he wasn’t sure what the fuss about. He would stick it out though to see if it got better.

 

Sterling pushed in a second finger alongside the first one. Eliot let out a grunt but otherwise he didn’t show any signs of discomfort even though it stung. It wasn’t too bad. He’d certainly dealt with worse pain before. 

 

“Are you all right?”

 

“I’m fine. It’s just strange.”

 

“I know. You’ll get used to it, and it’s going to be so much better. I promise.”

 

“Don’t worry about me. Just keep going.”

 

“I’m going to add a third finger in, okay?”

 

Eliot nodded. The stretch of three fingers was worse but it still wasn’t anywhere near as bad a pain as he had experience before. This was nothing compared to his worst. 

 

Then Sterling crooked his fingers and Eliot arched his back as he cried out. So that was what that felt like. Sterling massaged that spot, his prostate, and Eliot let out a long, deep groan. 

 

“Please just fuck me already.”

 

“Whatever you say, darling.”

 

Sterling removed his fingers and slicked up his dick. Eliot pulled his knees back to his chest the way Sterling had done so many times before. Sterling gave himself a squeeze and shook his head. “I’m not going to last.”

 

“I don’t care. Just get on with it.”

 

Sterling tsked. “So impatient.”

 

He pushed himself into Eliot though until he was fully seated and then paused. He buried his face in Eliot’s neck. Eliot wanted to tell him to move but he thought that maybe Sterling needed a minute so he kept his mouth shut. 

 

Finally, Sterling started moving. He started slowly but he was really good about hitting Eliot’s prostate. Now he knew why Sterling loved this so much. Still, he didn’t think he would ever love it as much as Sterling did, but he would definitely do this again. 

 

“I don’t think you’re going to have to worry about coming too soon.” He was close. He was surprisingly close. 

 

“Good,” Sterling replied. Sterling slid his hand down between them and began stroking him. 

 

“Oh,” he let out on a long groan and then came. Sterling came right after he did and then collapsed on top of him. 

 

“Jesus, Eliot.” Sterling’s breath whooshed past his ear, tickling him. He shuddered and wrapped his arms around Sterling.

 

“I agree.”

 

“Does that mean I’ll get to do that again?”

 

“Oh definitely.”

 

“You prefer the other way though, don’t you.”

 

“Don’t you?”

 

Sterling huffed and kissed him just below the ear before rolling off of him. “Yes I do.”

 

Sterling rolled onto his side and threw an arm over Eliot as Eliot stretched and groaned. “I really needed that. I feel good.”

 

“Stop. You’re going to make me want to go again and there’s no way I can go again.”

 

Eliot laughed. “Maybe we can go again in the morning,” he suggested.

 

“You’d let me fuck you again so soon?”

 

“I might need it to deal with my team.”

 

This time it was Sterling who laughed. “I suppose there’s nothing quite like a good dick in the ass.”

 

Eliot burst out laughing and pushed Sterling so he was on his back and then covered his face with kisses, Sterling laughing beneath him. 

 

“Maybe it’s just me,” Sterling suggested when they had both calmed down. 

 

Eliot smiled and kissed Sterling sweetly. “Maybe.”


	5. Chapter 5

 

Eliot was exhausted. It had been a long con. He hated when so many things went wrong and then it took longer for them to get the job done. It was even worse now, at least for Eliot. He had Sterling to think about. Nobody else on the team had to leave people behind. 

 

And it just so happened that his people - person, actually - was waiting for him at the airport.

 

“So now he picks you up at the airport?” Hardison grumbled. Eliot ignored him and smiled, walking right into Sterling’s open arms. 

 

“I missed you,” Sterling told him. The last time they had been apart for such an extended period of time was when they were fighting. Eliot hadn’t been gone for a month but it had sure felt like it. 

 

Eliot sighed and kissed him. “I missed you too.”

 

The pulled out of the embrace and they were both smiling like idiots. 

 

“By the way, the house is ready for company. Do you want them all over tomorrow?”

 

Eliot shrugged. “Sure. Why not? I’m sorry you had to do all that yourself though.”

 

“Olivia helped. Besides, you’ll be doing all the cooking tomorrow.”

 

Eliot snorted. “Of course.”

 

“So, should I invite them or should you?”

 

“Maybe you should.”

 

“Like a peace offering or something?”

 

“Or something.”

 

Sterling kissed his cheek and turned to his team, who still happened to be standing there, watching them.

 

“Listen you lot, we’re having a house warming tomorrow and you’re all invited.”

 

With that, he and Sterling turned and left them, not bothering to hear what anyone on the team had to say. Sophie would probably show up. He hoped that Hardison would show up too. If Hardison showed up then Parker would definitely be there.

 

“So if I offer to take your bag, is it going to be something I can carry?”

 

Eliot never used to carry a bag but now he liked to bring things back for Olivia. He had actually been doing it for a while. He was surprised his team had never asked him about it. 

 

Eliot smirked and handed Sterling his bag. It was light and Sterling took it and slung it over his shoulder. 

 

“You can shower when we get home and I’ll make dinner for us.”

 

“You’re going to cook for me?”

 

“I thought you might be too exhausted to want to bother with it.”

 

“You’ve been busy moving into the new house. You don’t have to take care of dinner.”

 

“And you hardly had any time to call me so I figure you deserve the rest.”

 

Eliot couldn’t argue with that. He had called Sterling every chance he got but he hadn’t had many of them. 

 

“I have an idea. Let’s pick up food on the way home and then you can shower with me.”

 

Sterling laughed but didn’t argue with him, so Eliot was sure they had a winning plan. 

 

They ate quietly at the table. They were both clearly exhausted. Eliot was glad that he had come up with this plan. He just wanted to shower and get some sleep. He was sure Sterling felt the same way.

 

They managed to make it through dinner and into the bathroom. They stripped out of their clothes and climbed into the shower. 

 

Sterling pushed him out of the stream and held him still, looking him over.

 

“What are you doing?”

 

“Checking you for injuries.”

 

“Oh. Okay. As hard as this con was, I managed to walk away with just a few bruises.”

 

“I want to check for myself anyway.”

 

“That’s fine. Do what you need to do.” Eliot bit back a smile at Sterling being a mother hen. God help him, he actually kind of liked it. 

 

He stood there patiently as Sterling checked him over. When Sterling’s fingers brushed lightly over a bruise Eliot grabbed his hand and held it to his heart. “Hey, I’m okay.”

 

“It’s not like you would tell me if you were seriously injured.”

 

“I’m not though. You checked me over. All is well.”

 

Sterling wrapped his arms around Eliot and Eliot wound his around Sterling. 

 

“How were things with everyone?” Sterling asked.

 

“I don’t know. It could have been better. Parker and Sophie treated me the way that the always have. Nate ignored me as much as he could.”

 

“And Hardison?”

 

“He was cool towards me. It wasn’t anything like how we used to be.”

 

“But he didn’t ignore you completely. That’s something.”

 

“I guess.” He sighed and nuzzled at Sterling’s neck.

 

“It was your first con back. Just give it time.”

 

Eliot didn’t answer him. He knew it was only the first con back, but he just wished everything was better now. 

 

“Come on, darling. Let’s get clean so we can go to bed.”

 

Eliot groaned and gave Sterling a squeeze. “That sounds nice.” But he didn’t attempt to move.

 

“If you move I’ll wash you,” Sterling offered. Eliot grunted but still didn’t move.

 

Sterling sighed and managed to untangle the two of them, forcing Eliot to stand on his own. Sterling washed him quickly and then took care of himself. He helped Eliot out of the shower and then dried the both of them off. 

 

Eliot was too tired to bother with pajamas. He crawled into bed naked and Sterling did the same. They found each other under the covers and tangled themselves together. 

 

***

 

Eliot had gotten up early to make breakfast for him and Sterling, and Olivia, who had knocked on the door just a few minutes ago. He didn’t know what time anyone was coming over, or even if any of them would except for Sophie, but he wanted to be prepared. He had already started working on lunch as well. 

 

He was glad that he had started because there was a knock at the door and Olivia let Hardison and Parker in. Sterling walked up to him and put an arm around him, kissing his cheek. Sterling knew how much it meant that Hardison had not only come, but was the first one here. 

 

“We brought doughnuts,” Parker announced, setting the box from Voodoo Doughnuts down on the counter.

 

“Ooh, yum.” Sterling made a beeline for the doughnuts.

 

“Do you really think you should be eating one, Sterling. You’re getting a little fat there.”

 

Sterling stopped his hand before it had even gotten to the box. Eliot wanted to bash his head against the wall. 

 

“Parker!” Hardison chided. Hardison pulled Parker over to the side and talked to her.

 

“Eat a doughnut, Sterling.”

 

Sterling was no longer smiling and his hand was resting on his stomach. “No. I probably shouldn’t.”

 

“Damn it. Olivia, take over for me here.”

 

Olivia moved to the stove to finish up the food Eliot had been working on. He walked over to Sterling and backed him up against the counter, caging him in. 

 

“You should have a doughnut, Jim. In fact, have two.”

 

Sterling shook his head. 

 

Eliot took Sterling’s face in his hands so that Sterling was forced to look at him. “Listen to me, Jim. I’m not going to lie to you. You’ve gained a little weight. It’s not much. It’s hardly noticeable. I actually kind of wish you’d gain more. I like your stomach, or have you really not noticed that?”

 

“You want me to gain more weight? I don’t believe you. I’ve seen some of the women you’ve been with, Eliot.”

 

“Yeah, and what were they to me?”

 

“Doesn’t matter. That’s who you’re attracted to.”

 

Eliot sighed. “I love you, Jim. Eat a doughnut.” He kissed Sterling and then walked away. Olivia had the food under control so he walked over to Hardison and Parker. 

 

“I’m sorry for calling Sterling fat.”

 

“I’m not the one you need to apologize to, Parker.”

 

Parker headed over to where Sterling was eating a doughnut. He smiled at Sterling and Sterling actually blushed. Hardison noticed.

 

“What did you tell him?”

 

“The truth. That I would actually like it if he gained a little more weight.”

 

“Okay. I can see that. He’s not too bad looking for a dude.”

 

Eliot snorted. “Hardison.”

 

“You really love him, don’t you?”

 

“I do.”

 

“And you’re happy?”

 

Eliot smiled. 

 

“I still think it’s strange.”

 

“I know. Sometimes I can’t believe it myself either, but I love him and what’s more is that I actually like him.”

 

“Dude.”

 

“I know.” Eliot sighed. “Hardison, I really am sorry.”

 

“Did you really not know you were in love with him?”

 

“I think towards the end of the year I started figuring it out, but I denied it. This was Sterling after all. I was full of Sterling prejudice. But when I ignored that…”

 

“Hey,” Hardison held out his hand for Eliot, “we’re cool.”

 

Eliot took the offered hand and pulled Hardison to him to hug him. Hardison hugged him back. 

 

“Parker wants to go on double dates,” Hardison told him.

 

“Parker? Really?” Eliot pulled out of the hug.

 

“Yeah. I think she’s just really curious about your relationship.”

 

Eliot shrugged. “That’s fine. We can do that. By the way, will you tell her what I said about Sterling?”

 

“You mean about how you want him to gain more weight?”

 

“Yeah.”

 

Hardison nodded. “I can do that.”

 

Eliot clapped Hardison on the shoulder and then walked over to Sterling, pulling him into a hug even though he still had a doughnut in his hand. Eliot kissed him, tasting the sugary sweetness on Sterling’s lips. Sterling laughed as Eliot kissed him. 

 

“Sorry,” Eliot mumbled, burying his face in Sterling’s neck. 

 

“It’s okay. I know.”

 

Of course he knew. He had seen Eliot and Hardison hug. He knew that they had made up. He was happy for Eliot. 

 

“I wish everybody would leave now so that we could have some fun.”

 

Sterling chuckled and kissed Eliot’s cheek. “I don’t think you really want that, darling. We have plenty of time. Go talk to Hardison and Parker.”

 

Eliot ran his hand down Sterling’s arm and cupped the hand that was holding the doughnut. “Jim, are you okay with this?”

 

“I don’t know,” Sterling replied honestly. 

 

“Okay. We’ll talk more later when everyone is gone.” He gave Sterling a kiss. “Finish that doughnut.”

 

Eliot left him and went back to where Hardison and Parker were. He struck up a conversation with the two of them. 

 

It wasn’t long before Sophie showed up without Nate in tow. Eliot tried to not let it bother him. Hardison and Parker were both here and talking to him. 

 

They spent the day playing games and eating. Sophie, Parker, and Hardison all made an effort to talk to Sterling. Nobody had any qualms about talking to Olivia at least. 

 

Sterling and Eliot were both tired by the time that everyone left. Eliot offered to clean up though since Sterling was the one who had done most of the unpacking and organizing on the new house. 

 

“I’ll be fine, really. Go get ready for bed. I’ll be there in a little bit.”

 

Sterling finally gave in. The day had really worn on him, but Eliot wasn’t sure why. Maybe it had something to do with that comment from Parker earlier that day. Eliot had plans to fix that, and Sterling didn’t need any energy for that. He just needed to stay awake. 

 

He cleaned up as quickly as he could and headed back to the bedroom. Sterling was in the bathroom, naked, looking at himself in the mirror. Eliot crossed his arms over his chest and leaned against the doorframe. “Has that really been bothering you all day?”

 

Sterling shrugged and kept looking at himself in the mirror. Eliot walked up behind Sterling and rested his hands on Sterling’s stomach. 

 

“You’re gorgeous,” Eliot admitted. He didn’t think he had ever told Sterling anything like that before. It had honestly never occurred to him to do so. Apparently he was still getting the hang of treating Sterling right. 

 

“You don’t have to say that.”

 

Eliot turned Sterling in his arms. Eliot still had a lot to make up for, it would seem. “I’m not just saying it. I’m sorry I never said it to you before. I just keep screwing things up. It’s true though. You’re gorgeous.”

 

Sterling snorted. 

 

“Do you really think I would have slept with you to begin with if I didn’t find you attractive? In fact, that very first time I went over to your place was the first time I ever saw you dressed so casually. A t-shirt and jeans. I really liked it on you. I think I knew as soon as I saw you that I was going to go through with it. Didn’t mean I admitted it to myself, but it was there. And then once I finally got you naked I remember thinking that you were gorgeous. I should have told you sooner. I should have been telling you every day.”

 

Sterling didn’t say anything and Eliot swore he was going to kill Parker for this. He took Sterling’s hand and led him out into the bedroom. “Go lay down,” he instructed. 

 

“I’m really tired, Eliot.”

 

“You don’t have to do anything, but if you really don’t want to then it can wait. You still need to get into bed.”

 

Sterling nodded and got in. Eliot stripped his clothes off and followed. He pulled Sterling to him and held him tight. He had been serious about waiting, no matter how much he wanted to take care of Sterling right now. This was supposed to be about Sterling though, so he wasn’t going to try and push Sterling into anything he didn’t really feel like doing. 

 

Sterling was the one who started kissing him. Eliot ran his hand down Sterling’s body and was surprised to find that Sterling was hard. “Can I take care of you, Jim? Please let me take care of you.”

 

Sterling nodded so he rolled on top of him and kissed him. He was going to make sure that Sterling thoroughly enjoyed himself. Sterling wrapped his arms around Eliot and stroked his back.

 

He kissed Sterling’s cheek and then along his jaw. He made his way down Sterling’s neck, stopping to bite at all of Sterling’s sensitive spots. Soft moans and gasps were escaping Sterling’s mouth and Eliot wished he could make those noises come from Sterling all of the time. 

 

Slowly, he kissed his way down Sterling’s chest. Sterling’s nipples were sensitive so Eliot made sure to spend plenty of time on each of them. He licked and bit and sucked until Sterling was writhing beneath him, his hands running through Eliot’s hair, gripping it tight. He stayed until Sterling was on the verge of becoming oversensitive. 

 

He kissed his way down Sterling’s stomach, nuzzling at the trail of hair that led further down. He avoided Sterling’s dick in favor of nipping his way down the crease between his thigh and his pelvis, and then licking his way back up the other side. 

 

Sterling was becoming impatient, but he wasn’t going to beg Eliot. Not tonight. His gasps and moans became louder, curses flowing freely. Eliot smiled and dipped his head to gently suck on one of Sterling’s balls before moving on to the other. He tongued at them and then licked all the way up Sterling’s dick, swirling it around the head, and then licking at his slit. Sterling swore. 

 

Eliot chuckled and slid his lips down Sterling’s length until his nose brushed up against Sterling’s pubic hair. It had taken practice, but he could easily take Sterling all the way now with no problem. Sterling certainly appreciated it. He took Sterling to the edge but he didn’t let him go over. 

 

“Roll over,” he ordered. Sterling rolled onto his stomach and Eliot straddled him. He could give Sterling a massage but he would have to get the massage oil out. He supposed he could just use the lube. He had plans though and he didn’t really want his fingers tasting like either. Still, this was supposed to be about Sterling, so he would just have to deal with a little bit of the chemical taste. 

 

Eliot reached over to the drawer and pulled out the lube. Better off using that since they would be using it anyway. He poured some on his hand and rubbed them together. He kneaded the muscles in Sterling’s shoulders and Sterling let out a groan. It had definitely been a good decision to do the massage. He could feel Sterling relaxing beneath him. 

 

He worked his way down Sterling’s back, sliding off of Sterling when he reached his ass. He spread Sterling’s cheeks and leaned down, blowing over Sterling’s hole. Sterling groaned and shifted but didn’t tell him to stop. He hadn’t thought that Sterling would, not after Sterling had already done this to him. 

 

He flicked out his tongue and licked at Sterling’s hole eagerly, knowing that Sterling was more sensitive than he was. He wanted to give Sterling more though, so he pushed one of his fingers, which was still fairly lubricated, into Sterling and stretched him. He quickly pushed in a second finger, stretching Sterling like he was about to fuck him. Instead, he removed his fingers and pushed his tongue into Sterling. Sterling cursed and groaned and pushed back against Eliot’s tongue. 

 

Eliot ran his tongue around and around, pausing every so often to press his lips around the hole and suck and then gently scrape his teeth over it before pushing his tongue back in. He could do this for hours.

 

“Eliot, stop.”

 

Eliot pulled away from Sterling, reluctantly. “What’s wrong?” He took one look at Sterling’s face and answered his own question. “You were going to come just from that, weren’t you?”

 

Sterling nodded. So Eliot might not be able to do it for hours then, but he could certainly do it until Sterling came. 

 

“Okay, well there are lots of ways this can go. What do you want? You can have anything.”

 

“Even if it means you wind up taking care of yourself?”

 

Eliot stretched out over Sterling so he could nuzzle him. “Don’t you worry about me. I want to do whatever you want to do.”

 

“Can you finish with your tongue then? You can fuck me afterwards if you want.”

 

“I was hoping you would say that,” Eliot growled in his ear. He slid back down Sterling’s body and stuck his tongue back into Sterling. 

 

He really was glad that Sterling had decided that this was what he wanted. Sterling made some of the best noises Eliot had heard while he had been doing this. And he had to admit, he loved the taste of Sterling. He couldn’t believe that, but it was true.

 

Sterling pushed back against him with a groan. “Eliot.”

 

Sterling was about to come. He gripped Sterling’s hips and let out a groan himself. Sterling was about to get off on just Eliot’s tongue in his ass. 

 

Sterling came loudly, more loudly than normal, and then lay there panting. Eliot continued tonguing at Sterling, though he pulled his tongue out of Sterling’s ass and just ran it along the rim. 

 

“Eliot?”

 

“Yeah?”

 

“Are you planning on staying down there?”

 

“Why? Are you too sensitive?”

 

“A bit.”

 

“Do you want me to stop?”

 

“Don’t you want to fuck me now?”

 

Eliot didn’t answer and Sterling chuckled. “I think you liked that more than I did.”

 

Eliot bit Sterling’s ass and Sterling grunted. 

 

“Well, are you going to fuck me or are you going to stay down there?”

 

Eliot sighed. He had to remember that this was about Sterling. “What do you want?”

 

“You’re more than welcome to do this again sometime, but right now I really want you to fuck me.”

 

Eliot licked Sterling’s hole one last time before grabbing the lube and slicking himself up. Sterling was already stretched decently enough so he just pushed himself into Sterling and stretched out over Sterling’s back. Sterling sighed and wriggled his ass.

 

Eliot huffed in Sterling’s ear. “So impatient.”

 

“Can’t help it. You feel good.”

 

Eliot kissed Sterling just below his ear and whispered, “I love you.”

 

“I love you too.”

 

Eliot rested his forehead on the back of Sterling’s neck. Sometimes he still couldn’t believe that this was his life. He couldn’t believe it, but he wouldn’t trade it for anything either. 

 

He started thrusting slowly, aware that Sterling might still be too sensitive for this. He wanted this to last anyway. He didn’t know how Sterling could say that Eliot felt good inside of Sterling because it was Sterling who felt good around his dick. 

 

“Just like that,” Sterling instructed. It seemed like Sterling didn’t want it rough right now anyway. Eliot was good with that. He could come like this. He was wound up from rimming Sterling anyway. 

 

He came with a gasp in Sterling’s ear and sighed. “How do you feel?” Eliot asked even though he was still panting. 

 

“Really fucking good, but also exhausted.”

 

Eliot pulled out and lay down next to Sterling. “Go to sleep then.”

 

Sterling smiled and snuggled into Eliot. Eliot huffed but left Sterling to it, especially since Sterling was already asleep. 

 

***

 

Eliot was still awake. He couldn’t help it. He was watching over Sterling even though there was no reason for it. He had been watching him sleep too, as creepy as that might have been. At least Sterling knew he was there. 

 

Sterling looked so peaceful. It made Eliot not want to disturb him, but Eliot really wanted to be with Sterling again. He began stroking Sterling’s stomach. After a few minutes, Sterling stirred.

 

“Again?” he murmured, barely awake. 

 

“We don’t have to. I just really want you again.”

 

Sterling smiled, his eyes still closed. “As long as I don’t have to do any of the work again.”

 

Eliot chuckled. “Of course not.” He grabbed the lube and quickly coated his fingers. He pushed two into Sterling immediately and Sterling sighed. 

 

He stretched Sterling quickly and then was sliding into him. He kept the pace slow like he had earlier, his face buried in Sterling’s neck so he could breathe him in. 

 

“Are you going to need a hand?”

 

“No,” Sterling gasped, which quickly turned into a groan. 

 

Sterling came and Eliot quickly followed. Sterling was already asleep before Eliot had even pulled out of him. Eliot chuckled and kissed Sterling’s cheek before easing himself out of Sterling and then lying next to him, wrapping an arm around him. 

 

This time Eliot slept.

 

***

 

Eliot was up before Sterling was and started stroking his stomach again. He was definitely up for another round but he wasn’t sure Sterling would be. Sure enough, Sterling swatted his hand away.

 

“Don’t even think about it,” Sterling growled.

 

“Okay. Fine. How about we go spend some time in the hot tub then?”

 

Sterling stretched and sighed. “Now that sounds like a really good idea.”

 

Eliot got out of bed so he could freshen up first. He headed out to the hot tub naked. He got the bubbles started and even warmed up the temperature some more. He and Sterling had yet to do this and Eliot was really looking forward to it. He sank into the water with a sigh. It was perfect. 

 

He smiled when he heard Sterling get in next to him. Sterling sighed too. “This was a really good idea. I’m glad you suggested it.”

 

“I agree.” He pulled Sterling into his arms and kissed the top of his head. He rested his hand on Sterling’s stomach. 

 

“You don’t have to keep proving that you find me attractive.”

 

“I wasn’t trying to do that. Last night I was, but not now. I just like your stomach, or did you forget that?”

 

“You keep wanting to have sex though.”

 

“So? Is there something wrong with that?”

 

“Oh. Of course.”

 

“What?”

 

“You’re happy. You and Hardison are talking again and I’m reaping the benefits.”

 

Eliot laughed. “I guess that’s true.”

 

“It’s not that I mind, it’s just that I’m not as young as I once was. As much as I hate to admit it, I can’t keep up with you.”

 

“Doesn’t bother me any.”

 

“Are you sure about that?”

 

“Jim, you sound like you’re having second thoughts about this relationship.”

 

Sterling didn’t say anything.

 

“This still has to do with what Parker said yesterday, doesn’t it?”

 

“Yes,” Sterling admitted.

 

“I’m going to kill her.”

 

Sterling shook his head. “You can’t do that. You just made up with Hardison. He wouldn’t take too kindly to you killing Parker.”

 

“I’d rather have you happy.”

 

Sterling shifted until he was straddling Eliot. “That’s sweet, Eliot, but don’t worry about it.”

 

“She made you feel old.”

 

“Not old. Just older than you.”

 

Eliot kissed Sterling’s neck and along his jaw. “Are you telling me that I didn’t make you feel young last night? Twice?”

 

Sterling chuckled and kissed him. “Okay, I can also admit that last night helped.”

 

Eliot reached down between them to take Sterling’s soft dick in his hand. 

 

“And just what are you planning on doing?”

 

“I thought I would show off how long I could hold my breath.”

 

Sterling groaned and hardened in his hand.

 

“Well, I take it that you’re curious as to my talent.”

 

“Just shut up and get to it.”

 

Eliot laughed and lifted Sterling so he could switch places with him. Once Sterling was sitting with his legs spread with Eliot kneeling in front of him, Eliot took a deep breath in and ducked his head under water. He took Sterling into his mouth, wondering if he could make Sterling come faster than normal. He could hold his breath long enough that he didn’t think it would be a problem. He had never tried something like this before though. He didn’t know how this was going to go. 

 

Sterling’s hands tangled in his hair and he wished he could hear the noises that Sterling was making. They were good ones considering that Sterling had started thrusting into his mouth. Eliot decided to let him keep that up. He removed his hands from Sterling and held them behind his back. Sterling slowed his pace at first, unsure as to what Eliot was doing, but he quickly figured it out and started fucking into Eliot’s mouth. 

 

Sooner than Eliot would have guessed, Sterling was coming down his throat. Eliot swallowed it all and didn’t pull off of Sterling’s dick until Sterling tugged on his hair. Eliot came up with a smile on his face. 

 

“How was that?”

 

“I think we might have to try that again some time.”

 

“Which part?”

 

“Both.”

 

Eliot straddled Sterling and kissed him. “I wish I knew how to make you feel better.”

 

“Don’t worry about it. I’ll be fine.”

 

“But I want you better now.”

 

Sterling chuckled. “I’ll be fine, darling. I have to ask though, do you really like the idea of me gaining more weight?”

 

“Well it’s not like I want you fat. I still want you healthy. I would definitely be okay if you put on a few pounds though. I would be okay if you put on more than a few pounds.”

 

“Why? How is that even possible?”

 

“I don’t know. I’ve wondered the same thing myself, but I just don’t have an answer.”

 

Eliot kissed him again and then sat on the opposite side from Sterling so they could both relax. 

 

“Parker wants to go on double dates with us.”

 

Sterling snorted. “Of course she does. I don’t mind. It’ll be interesting at the very least.”

 

“Hardison thinks it’s just because she’s curious about our relationship.”

 

“I’m not surprised. Your whole team is probably curious about our relationship. They can’t understand how we work together. They can’t understand what you see in me. They just don’t understand it at all. Of course they’re curious.”

 

“Yeah, I guess you’re right.”

 

“Of course I am,” Sterling said, smugly.

 

Eliot smiled and shook his head. “Are you sure you’re okay?”

 

Sterling slid over to his side of the hot tub and wrapped his arms around Eliot. “I will be, okay?”

 

“Okay.” Eliot supposed it was the best he was going to get for now. He made a vow that he would make sure that Sterling never again wondered about his attractiveness to Eliot. Eliot was going to work harder to make him feel special.


	6. Chapter 6

 

“I think we need another person,” Hardison told them, finishing up his presentation. 

 

“No, no. I think we’ll be able to do with just the five of us. It’ll just take a bit more maneuvering and creativity on our part.”

 

Eliot sighed. Sterling was perfect for the job and he was sure that everyone here knew it. Nobody would say anything though because of Nate.

 

“Or we could just use Sterling.”

 

“No. We don’t need Sterling.”

 

“Nate, I think Eliot is right. Sterling could be a big help on this job.”

 

“And you trust him now? Are you really telling me that you trust Sterling?”

 

“He loves Eliot. He’s not going to do anything that would put Eliot at risk, and he’s not going to try and hurt the rest of us either because he wouldn’t do that to Eliot. Besides, Eliot trusts him.”

 

“Yeah, well I don’t trust him.”

 

“And you’re still the only one, Nate. Or at least you’re the only one who doesn’t trust him enough to work with him. The rest of the team trusts him enough to work with him, and Hardison is right. Sterling loves me. He’s not going to try anything to hurt me or the team. Do you really think I would suggest him if I thought he would do something like that? Just because I’m in love with him doesn’t mean I would put the team in jeopardy.”

 

“Nate, both Hardison and Eliot make good points. You should just let Sterling work this job with us. We need another person and Sterling is right for the job, and you know it.”

 

With Sophie’s input, Nate finally caved and Eliot called Sterling. It had been too long since they had worked a job with Sterling and he was looking forward to it. 

 

 

“Sterling!” Eliot shouted. He could hear the sounds of Sterling fighting and then there was nothing. “Jim!”

 

There was no answer and Eliot swore loudly. He took off and headed to where Sterling was supposed to be. He couldn’t remember the last time he had been this scared. He wasn’t sure he had ever been this scared, and he had been in some really bad situations before. 

 

He hoped he could get to Sterling in time.

 

He heard voices coming over the comm but he ignored them all. His only focus right now was on getting to Sterling. 

 

Sterling was knocking out the last guy as Eliot rounded the corner. Hardison was yelling in his ear now, wanting an update and wanting Eliot to just respond.

 

“I’ve got eyes on Sterling. He’s fine.”

 

“Well that’s just great. Can the two of you manage to get out here now so we can get the hell out of here?”

 

Eliot took the earpiece out and shoved it into his pocket. He needed a few minutes. He grabbed Sterling and pulled him into his arms, squeezing him tight.

 

“Jesus, Jim. You scared the shit out of me.”

 

“Hey, it’s okay, it’s okay. I’m sorry. They got my earpiece and killed it. I couldn’t tell you that I was okay. I’m sorry.”

 

Eliot didn’t say anything. He was still too shaken up. It took a lot for that to happen, just like it took a lot for something to actually scare him. 

 

Sterling was running one of his hands along Eliot’s back soothingly while the other hand was tangled in his hair, palming the back of his head. 

 

“Eliot, we should get back to the team now. They’re probably worried.”

 

Eliot sighed and kissed Sterling before putting his earpiece back in. Hardison was yelling at him again. 

 

“Damn it, Hardison. We’re on our way out now. Would you just shut up?”

 

Hardison was still complaining when they got back to the van. Eliot ignored him and shoved Sterling into a corner of the van, pulling out his earbud again. 

 

All eyes were on him and Sterling, but Eliot ignored them all. He pulled Sterling into his arms and noticed both Sophie and Parker smiling at them. Even Hardison had stopped complaining and was smirking.

 

It was strange showing affection in front of the team like this. It was different when they weren’t on a job. Hardison and Parker rarely showed affection, even when they weren’t on a job, but Eliot thought that had more to do with Parker than anything. 

 

After a while they started ignoring him and Sterling, and Sterling rested his head on Eliot’s shoulder. It didn’t matter that they were on a job. It didn’t matter that Nate still didn’t like Sterling. Sterling was safe, and that was all that mattered right now. He kissed Sterling’s cheek and hoped that they got home soon. He wanted to be alone with Sterling. 

 

***

 

It was early when they got back to their house. Eliot was exhausted though and wanted nothing more than to shower, put his pajamas on, and sleep for a very long time. Not that he could actually sleep for a very long time. Some nights he could manage a whole night with Sterling, but most of the time he couldn’t.

 

“I’m hitting the shower.”

 

Sterling didn’t say anything. He knew that Sterling was worried about the way that Eliot was acting, but Eliot just didn’t have the energy to deal with that right now. Bad enough that he had already had to deal with thinking that Sterling might die. It scared him more than he liked to admit and he didn’t know how to deal with it, and he didn’t know why he was surprised by it. It wasn’t like he didn’t know how much he loved Sterling and how much Sterling meant to him. He had just never really thought about Sterling dying. Maybe Eliot had always assumed that he would be the first to go despite the fact that Sterling was older than him. 

 

He took a long, hot shower before he finally felt a little better. Sterling was sitting on the bed when Eliot walked out in a towel. Sterling’s cell phone was sitting next to him.

 

“How’s Olivia?”

 

“Good. She said she’d come visit tomorrow.”

 

Eliot rummaged through the drawers for his most comfortable pair of pajamas, finally pulling them out triumphantly.

 

“I’m going to take my shower now.”

 

“Okay. I think I’m going to have a beer and then take a nap.” He pulled his pajamas on and went to the kitchen to get a beer. He sat at their bar counter table and tried to relax. He kept thinking about Sterling though and about what had almost happened. He didn’t know how he would survive Sterling dying. 

 

How could he have never thought about that before? Is that what happened in a normal relationship? Did you just not think about it until something forced you to think about it? He didn’t want to think about this. He didn’t want to think about Sterling dying. 

 

There was a knock at the door. The only people that ever showed up at the house were either his team or Olivia. None of Sterling’s friends from work ever came over. 

 

With a sigh he got up to open the door. Parker and Hardison were standing there and they had Chinese food with them. He hesitated only a moment before letting them in. 

 

Parker and Hardison had really warmed up to the idea of him and Sterling together, and Eliot didn’t want to do anything to get on their bad sides, no matter how much he wasn’t in the mood for company right now.

 

“You guys get comfortable. I’ll be right back.” He needed to go warn Sterling that Parker and Hardison were here. He didn’t think that Sterling would mind. He wanted Eliot’s team to be happy with the two of them being together, so he would do whatever it took to make that happen. Sterling would probably welcome them more now than Eliot would anyway. Eliot was the one feeling off, not Sterling. 

 

“Parker and Hardison are here.”

 

Sterling was in the process of putting his own pajamas on. “Should I put something more appropriate on then?”

 

Eliot shrugged. “I’m not changing.”

 

Sterling finished putting his pajamas on and they walked out to the kitchen together. Parker and Hardison were already eating. He and Sterling sat across from them and dug into their own food. 

 

The silence was awkward. Things between him and Sterling were off right now and Parker and Hardison looked uncomfortable. He didn’t know if it was because of the strain between him and Sterling or if it was something else. 

 

Hardison finally broke the silence. “Look, Eliot, Parker and I have both been through the same thing. We know how it feels. We know how terrifying it is. We know what you’re going through.”

 

Eliot started at them, wide-eyed. Hardison put an arm around Parker and gave her a quick squeeze. Parker smiled. 

 

“Now you know how I feel every time you go on a job,” Sterling grumbled from beside him. “Especially the jobs where you come home injured. I hate that.”

 

“I had no idea.”

 

“You never had to before. I’ve been worrying about it since we started sleeping together.”

 

Eliot snorted. “Even though it was just sex.”

 

Sterling wrapped an arm around his shoulders and kissed his cheek. “Well, if you came home injured then you couldn’t have sex. Had to worry about that.”

 

Eliot burst out laughing and Hardison and Parker joined in. Sterling was grinning at him, clearly proud of the fact that he had just cheered Eliot up some. Eliot shook his head and went back to his food. At least this time the silence was comfortable. Parker and Hardison weren’t as tense and Eliot imagined it was because they had accomplished what they had come here for. 

 

Things were still going to be a little weird between him and Sterling, and Eliot knew that it was all him. He still didn’t know how to deal with these feelings. He would get over it though, and he was sure that Sterling knew that. It would just take some time. Hopefully not too much time. 

 

Parker and Hardison left after they had finished eating, leaving him and Sterling alone. Eliot went back to the bedroom so he could add a sweatshirt to his ensemble. He put his hair back and added a beanie as well. He just wanted to be comfortable. 

 

Sterling was on the couch waiting for him. Eliot crawled onto his lap, straddling him, and wrapped his arms around Sterling’s shoulders. He just wanted to be close to Sterling right now. Sterling cupped the back of his neck as Eliot leaned in to kiss him. Eliot didn’t push to go further and Sterling left him to it. 

 

Eliot stayed on Sterling’s lap for what felt like hours, just kissing him. He explored Sterling’s mouth with his tongue and peppered kisses along his jaw. He cupped Sterling’s face with his hands and kissed him gently, sweetly. 

 

The sun was starting to set when Eliot finally pulled away from Sterling. They must have actually kissed for hours then. 

 

“Maybe we should take this to the bedroom,” Sterling suggested. Eliot was about to tell him no but Sterling got there first. “Not for that. Just so we’re more comfortable.”

 

Eliot nodded and slid off of Sterling, pulling Sterling up with him. 

 

“Will you lose the sweatshirt and the hat too?”

 

When they got to the bedroom, Eliot rid himself of the items that Sterling had wanted him to and then crawled into bed. Sterling got in next to him and pulled him into his arms. “Much better,” Sterling murmured as he tugged Eliot’s hair free and ran his fingers through it. 

 

Eliot’s lips found Sterling’s again. He loved kissing Sterling but he hadn’t spent anywhere near this amount of time doing it. This was nice, being able to kiss Sterling like this, knowing that it wasn’t going to lead anywhere. At least Eliot was sure it wasn’t going to lead anywhere. He wasn’t really up for too much more, but he had to admit that having Sterling inside of him right now sounded really good. 

 

In the end, he fell asleep, drunk on Sterling’s kisses.

 

***

 

They were still tangled up in each other when Eliot woke up. He was careful not to move. He didn’t want to wake Sterling up just yet because he wanted to stay exactly like this for a while longer. 

 

He was still pleasantly buzzed from his night with Sterling and all they had done was kiss. Maybe they could spend the day doing the same. 

 

Sterling sighed and snuffled and kissed Eliot’s neck, but he didn’t say anything. Eliot nosed him until Sterling finally lifted his face to Eliot’s so that Eliot could kiss him properly. 

 

After a few minutes Sterling pushed him away and started getting out of bed. Eliot knew that Sterling wasn’t going to go far, that he was probably just going to relieve himself, but Eliot didn’t want him that far away. He just barely managed to keep his hand from snatching out to reach for Sterling, but Sterling noticed. 

 

Eliot cursed himself. This wasn’t him. He wasn’t needy or clingy. He forced himself to roll onto his side and face away from Sterling. Sterling followed though and put his arm around Eliot. He stayed quiet though like he was thinking. Eliot could only imagine what Sterling was thinking. 

 

“I think you should come shower with me.”

 

“Is that so?”

 

“Oh yes.” Sterling got out of bed and then waited by the side of it for Eliot to join him.

 

In the bathroom they didn’t get in the shower right away. Sterling brushed his teeth so Eliot used the toilet, and then they switched. They behaved themselves in the shower, which was easier to do since they had two shower heads. They each stayed under their own and they were out of the shower in no time. 

 

They dried off together, dressed together, and headed out to the kitchen together. Sterling stood with him at the stove as he cooked. Sterling was letting him cling without actually making him cling. 

 

Eliot was able to take a pause in his cooking and he used it to grab Sterling and pull him into his arms, nuzzling at his neck. 

 

“Thank you.” He didn’t specify what it was for. He didn’t need to.

 

“You’re welcome.” 

 

Eliot went back to the cooking, smiling when Sterling came up behind him and wrapped his arms around him. 

 

“What time is Olivia coming?”

 

“She said she wouldn’t be over until tonight.”

 

“So that means we have all day to ourselves then?”

 

Sterling nuzzled at Eliot the way Eliot usually did to him. “Did you have something in mind, darling?”

 

“I want to go back to bed.”

 

Eliot could feel the puff of warm air on his neck as Sterling huffed. “We can do that.”

 

Sterling stayed glued to the back of him as he finished up their breakfast. Sterling didn’t step away from him until they were at the bar counter with their food, and even then, Sterling scooted his stool over so that he was sitting practically on top of Eliot. 

 

When they were finished, Sterling helped him with the dishes and then they headed back to the bedroom. Eliot wasted no time in pushing Sterling down onto his back and covering Sterling’s body with his own. He kissed Sterling, again, but with a little more urgency than the last two times they had done this. He just didn’t know what exactly it was he wanted to do. 

 

He stopped kissing Sterling and rolled off of him and onto his back. 

 

“What’s wrong?”

 

Eliot laughed. “If you can believe it, I’m not sure what I want to do. I’m torn between wanting to show you how grateful I am and wanting you inside of me. And really, when did I become such a sap?”

 

Sterling laughed. “I think you were the whole time. Maybe you just lost it for a bit.”

 

“Yeah, well.”

 

“Why don’t you let me take care of you now and then you can show me how grateful you are when this is all over?”

 

Eliot grinned. “You’re too good to me.”

 

“I know. Don’t you forget it either.”

 

Eliot grabbed the lube out of the bedside drawer and handed it to Sterling. “You can skip all the other stuff. I just want…” Eliot swallowed hard. He just wanted to feel Sterling inside of him.

 

“Okay, okay. Easy. I’ve got you.” Sterling was attempting to soothe him, and it was working. 

 

Sterling coated his fingers with lube and pushed one into Eliot. Eliot smiled and let his legs fall open. He was looking forward to this, had been looking forward to it since last night. Sterling took his time stretching Eliot. He didn’t seem to be trying to stretch Eliot though. It was more like he just wanted to give Eliot as much pleasure as he could, and if he happened to stretch him, then so be it. Eliot was totally on board with this plan. Sterling’s finger felt good sliding in and out of him. It was even better when there were two fingers doing that.

 

Eliot sighed, closed his eyes, and relaxed, giving complete control of the situation to Sterling. He had to admit that it was nice to just let go sometimes. He had come a long way to actually trust Sterling in such a way. That thought made him smile. 

 

“What are you smiling for, besides the obvious of course.”

 

“I was just thinking about how far the two of us have come. I actually trust you. Who would have thought that I would ever say something like that?”

 

“Well as it turns out, I trust you too.”

 

Sterling brushed his fingers against Eliot’s prostate and Eliot let out a groan, spreading his legs even wider for Sterling. 

 

“You look incredible like this.”

 

“As opposed to how I normally look?”

 

“I just meant that you’re smiling and relaxed and you’re…”

 

“Yours for the taking?” Eliot asked, raising an eyebrow.

 

“Oh yes.”

 

Eliot laughed. “It helps that you feel good.”

 

Sterling groaned. “And you’re so open and honest too. I wish you were like that more often.”

 

“Don’t get used to it.”

 

“I wouldn’t dream of it, darling.” He pushed a third finger into Eliot. “Still feel good?”

 

“It would feel better with your dick in my ass.”

 

Sterling snorted. “At least you’re honest.” He pulled his fingers out of Eliot and slicked himself up. 

 

Eliot smiled, a smile that took over his entire face, as Sterling sank into him. Sterling groaned and buried his face in Eliot’s neck. “If you keep smiling so openly like that this isn’t going to last long,” he mumbled. 

 

“You’ve seen me smile before.”

 

“This is different.”

 

Eliot huffed. “Well that’s your problem, not mine.”

 

Sterling pulled his face out of Eliot’s neck and glared at him. “It’ll be your problem if I come too soon.”

 

He didn’t think it was possible but his smile widened as he cupped the back of Sterling’s neck and pulled him down for a kiss. 

 

When Sterling started moving Eliot let his head fall back to the pillow with a sigh. This was so much better than the first time they had done this. He wrapped his legs around Sterling as Sterling dipped his head to nuzzle at Eliot’s neck. Eliot let out small gasps and groans at the slow drag of Sterling’s dick in his ass. He dug his fingers into Sterling’s shoulders.

 

“Jim,” he murmured. Sterling quit nuzzling his neck to capture Eliot’s lips with his own. 

 

Their tongues slid together as Sterling kept up a steady massage against his prostate. He could feel pleasure building inside of him but was surprised by his orgasm. He was still gasping his way through it when Sterling came inside of him. 

 

He held Sterling close to him, still not ready to let him go. He ran his hands along Sterling’s back as they both got their breathing under control. When Sterling was okay again, he tried to move away from Eliot.

 

“No. Don’t. Not yet.”

 

Sterling gave him a questioning look but he didn’t move. His arms were resting on either side of Eliot’s head, so he shifted them so he could scratch Eliot’s scalp. 

 

“You came without either of us touching you.”

 

“I know. I wasn’t expecting that. My orgasm took me by surprise.”

 

“Are you feeling better now?” Sterling asked, acknowledging Eliot’s clinginess. 

 

“Your dick is still in my ass and I won’t let you move. What do you think?”

 

Sterling rubbed their noses together. “I think that as long as you let me pull out of you before Olivia gets here, we’re good.” Sterling rubbed their noses together again and Eliot was not going to admit how much he actually liked that.

 

“Jim,” Eliot whispered, but he didn’t know what else to say after that. He didn’t know what else he could say. Sterling had continually treated him better than he deserved, and he didn’t know how to tell Sterling how much he appreciated it. 

 

“I know,” Sterling replied, leaning down to kiss him. And he thought that maybe Sterling did know. 

 

Eliot had never been so open with anyone before. He might still be holding back but he didn’t hold back much. He let Sterling see more and more of him and there was no way that Sterling didn’t understand how significant that was. 

 

He had just shown weakness to Sterling, something he didn’t show to anyone. It wasn’t the first time it had happened and Sterling never made anything out of it. He never pushed Eliot to talk, or even to admit to what he was actually feeling, even if Sterling knew. 

 

“I don’t deserve you,” Eliot whispered against Sterling’s lips. He never would have imagined that Sterling would come to mean so much to him, or that he would ever stop hating Sterling, and yet here he was, admitting that Sterling was better than him. 

 

“Don’t talk like that,” Sterling told him, kissing him again. Eliot tried to talk again, but Sterling kept kissing him, keeping him from talking. Eliot didn’t really put up much of a fight. 

 

“Darling,” Sterling started, and Eliot would never get tired of hearing Sterling call him that, “I would love to stay inside you for as long as you want me to, but I’m afraid that nature calls.”

 

Eliot sucked in a breath. He didn’t want Sterling to move just yet. He wanted Sterling inside of him for as long as possible. 

 

Sterling huffed. “Okay, well, you know I’m up for pretty much anything in the bedroom, so if you really don’t want me to move then I don’t have to.”

 

Eliot opened his mouth to say something, but what could he say to that? Sterling was offering him something intimate and Eliot was very tempted. 

 

“Eliot?”

 

“Do you have to move right now or can you give me a minute to think about it?”

 

“You still have time.” Sterling rested his head on Eliot’s shoulder.

 

Eliot wanted to take Sterling up on his offer, but maybe this time wasn’t the best time for it. He would have to hold it in, if he could, until he could get to the toilet, and there was always the chance that he would make a mess on the sheets, and he wasn’t up to dealing with that right now. Still, he wanted to say yes.

 

“Jim.”

 

“Did you decide?”

 

“If I don’t take you up on your offer now, can this still be something we do at another time?”

 

Sterling lifted his head to look at Eliot. He was smiling. “We can do that.”

 

“Are you really okay with that, or were you just trying to appease me?”

 

“I admit, at first I said it for you, not that I wasn’t willing to do it, of course. I didn’t think you’d take me up on the offer, but then you wanted to think about it, which led me to thinking about it, and I’m okay with it.”

 

“It’s kind of intimate. I mean, for other people, where it’s just a normal kink for them, it’s probably not, but for us it would be.”

 

“I know.”

 

“I still don’t want to let you go.”

 

“I know, darling, but come on. We’re going to have get ready for Olivia anyway.”

 

Eliot nodded and grimaced as Sterling pulled out of him. He felt the loss of Sterling, an ache deep in his gut. 

 

Eliot must have been making a face because Sterling asked, “That bad?”

 

Eliot didn’t say anything but Sterling leaned in and kissed his cheek. “I’ll make it up to you after Olivia leaves, okay?”

 

Eliot nodded and was grateful when Sterling took his hand and kept their fingers linked as he got out of bed. He led Eliot into the bathroom and all the way to the toilet. Eliot realized that he had to go as well so he relieved himself at the same time Sterling did, both of them managing while still holding hands. 

 

“Don’t get mad at me for saying this, but this is strange.”

 

Eliot snorted. “Tell me about it.” Eliot sighed. “Come on. We should freshen up and get dressed so I can start making dinner.”

 

Sterling tugged Eliot to the sink with him, and even though Sterling let his hand go, he had pulled Eliot so that they were flush against each other at the sink while they brushed their teeth and washed their faces. 

 

Eliot had other places he needed to wash too, and Sterling actually took care of that for him and then led him back out to the bedroom, where they got dressed together. 

 

Eliot spent the rest of the evening with Sterling glued to his side. Olivia had asked about it but Sterling had brushed it off like this was normal behavior for the two of them. 

 

“I can’t believe you haven’t stopped touching me all night,” Eliot commented when they were naked and in bed together.

 

“You can tell me all about how amazing I am when you’re feeling better, okay?”

 

Eliot chuckled as Sterling kissed down his neck and along his shoulder, pushing him onto his side.

 

“What are you doing?”

 

“I told you I was going to make things up to you. Are you good to spend a few hours in bed?”

 

“Yes,” Eliot replied, curious as to what exactly Sterling had planned. “I’m not really in the mood for this.”

 

“It’s okay. Trust me?”

 

“Yeah. Okay.”

 

He jumped when Sterling’s fingers breached him since he had just told Sterling that he wasn’t in the mood, but Sterling had also asked him to trust him so Eliot went along with it. 

 

Sterling pushed into him but then he didn’t move. He readjusted the blankets around them, wrapped an arm around Eliot, and settled in for the night. 

 

“Oh.”

 

“Is this okay?”

 

“Don’t you want to move? Are you sure you’re okay like this?”

 

“It doesn’t matter. This is for you.”

 

“Jesus.” 

 

Sterling gave him a squeeze and kissed his shoulder. He couldn’t believe that Sterling was doing this for him. He felt full with Sterling inside of him and he loved it. 

 

Eliot sighed. “I love you.”

 

“Love you too.”

 

“Are you planning on staying inside of me all night? Even when you’re not hard anymore?”

 

“That’s the plan.”

 

Eliot wiggled his ass back against Sterling, wondering if he could get even more of Sterling inside of him. Sterling groaned.

 

“Shit. Sorry.”

 

“It’s fine. I’ll be fine.”

 

“Jim, if you want to get off you can.”

 

“No. I’m good.”

 

“Jim-“

 

“Eliot, how do you feel right now?”

 

Eliot didn’t answer him because the truth was that he felt better like this and he wanted to keep Sterling like this for as long as he could. 

 

“That’s what I thought.”

 

Eliot laced his fingers through Sterling’s and relaxed against him. Once again, Eliot was thinking about how he needed to make some changes in his relationship with Sterling. He just needed to let go and love Sterling the way that Sterling loved him. He was still wondering why Sterling put up with him.

 

“You need to stop thinking. There’s nothing wrong with the way you treat me. You take care of me when I need it too.”

 

That was true. He did. “I still feel inadequate.”

 

“I wish you wouldn’t. I’m happy.”

 

“Mmm. I’m happy too.” 

 

Sterling kissed his shoulder one last time and Eliot fell asleep with Sterling still inside of him.


	7. Chapter 7

As soon as they had found out that Olivia had the flu, they had decided to go pick her up and keep her at their place while she recovered. 

 

Olivia was asleep in her bedroom and Eliot was cooking for him and Sterling. Sterling was relaxing at the kitchen table. 

 

“Are you going to be okay with me going to work tomorrow?” Sterling asked.

 

Eliot rolled his eyes. “I do know how to take care of a sick person.”

 

“Well as long as you’re up for it.”

 

Eliot finished up their dinner and brought it to the table for the two of them. “Do you really think that I can’t take care of our sick daughter? We’ll be fine, Jim, but you can stay home if you’d like.”

 

“I really shouldn’t. Maybe I’ll only go in for half a day. I would like to be here.”

 

“You’re worrying too much. You do realize that Olivia is at an age where she can take care of herself, right? And I can help her with whatever she needs.”

 

“So what you’re saying is that you don’t want me around tomorrow.”

 

Eliot pulled Sterling’s chair to him and wrapped his arms around him, nuzzling at Sterling’s neck until Sterling started laughing. He liked making Sterling laugh. “You know that I could never not want you around.”

 

“I bet you say that to all the boys.”

 

Eliot chuckled against Sterling’s neck. “You know, I do think that I said that to Hardison just the other day.”

 

Sterling snorted and Eliot lifted his head so he could kiss Sterling. Sterling wound his arms around Eliot and pulled him closer.

 

“I’m not so hungry anymore,” Sterling murmured against his lips. “Maybe we should take this to the bedroom.”

 

Eliot huffed. “Remind me not to cook dinner for you again anytime soon.”

 

“Like you really mind,” Sterling retorted as he stood up and dragged Eliot towards the bedroom.

 

No, he didn’t mind. He really didn’t mind at all.

 

Eliot had just finished making himself a sandwich when he heard cursing coming from Olivia’s bathroom. He hurried down the hall and knocked on the door. “Everything okay in there, Olivia?”

 

“Hang on, Eliot. Just give me a minute.”

 

Eliot waited as patiently as he could outside the bathroom door. Olivia took her sweet time but she finally opened the door for him.

 

“What’s wrong?” Olivia looked terrible. She really shouldn’t be out of bed. If only bodily functions weren’t necessary. “You need to get back into bed.”

 

“I know. I’m going.” Olivia slowly made her way back to bed and got under the mountain of covers.

 

“So are you going to tell me what’s wrong?”

 

“Started my period. I didn’t bring anything with me. Wasn’t thinking clearly.”

 

“Ah.” Something that Eliot never really had to deal with before. He crossed his arms over his chest, trying not to be as uncomfortable as he felt. Olivia clearly wasn’t going to be able to go to the store herself and Eliot didn’t think she should have to wait until Sterling got home. “Do you need me to go get you stuff?”

 

Olivia laughed. “Really? You’re offering to go buy me tampons?”

 

Eliot shrugged “Isn’t that what dads do?”

 

Olivia sobered up. “Yeah, it is. Thanks, Eliot.”

 

“I’ve never done this before, so you’re going to have to be very specific.”

 

“Get me a pen and paper and I’ll write it down for you.”

 

Eliot went over to Olivia’s desk and found what she needed. He couldn’t believe he was about to do this, but he knew that this was what dads did. Sterling must have done this before for Olivia. Maybe. At some point. 

 

He brought the pen and paper over to Olivia so she could write down what she needed. He checked to make sure she didn’t want to add anything more to the list and then hurried off to the store. The sooner he got there the sooner he could get this over with. 

 

He stood in the aisle feeling self-conscious, but found what he needed easily. Olivia had spelled out exactly what it was that she needed. Eliot didn’t have to waste precious time trying to figure out what Olivia meant. He was grateful for that. 

 

When he got back home, Sterling was waiting for him in the kitchen.

 

“Where did you go?”

 

“Hey, sorry. I didn’t think you’d be home so soon.” He pulled the tampons out of the bag and showed them to Sterling.

 

Sterling smirked. “Welcome to the wonderful world of parenting.”

 

“Shut up.” Eliot glared, but only half-heartedly. “Is she awake?”

 

“She was asleep when I checked in on her.”

 

“I’ll just go leave these in the bathroom then.”

 

He left the box of tampons on the counter and then checked in on Olivia himself. He headed back to the kitchen and found Sterling fixing himself lunch even though Eliot’s sandwich was just sitting on the table untouched. 

 

“Do you want me to make that for you?”

 

“Believe it or not, I used to make my own food before you showed up. And what do you know, I still know how to make a sandwich.” Sterling held up the finished sandwich for Eliot to see and then took a huge bite.

 

“Amazing. I thought you barely functioned before I came along to help.” Eliot sat at the kitchen table so he could start on his own sandwich.

 

Sterling joined him at the table. “I’ll have you know I functioned perfectly fine before you showed up.”

 

Eliot grinned. “So are you home for the day then?”

 

“Yes.” Sterling leaned across the table. “Just what are you going to do with me?”

 

Eliot rolled his eyes. Things had been going so well with Sterling. He was afraid of what was going to happen. Things couldn’t go this well forever. Something was bound to happen. He just hoped it wasn’t something that they couldn’t get past, like death. He didn’t want to put Sterling through that and he definitely didn’t want to go through that himself. 

 

It was something that had been on his mind more often lately, thanks to that little incident where he thought he might have actually lost Sterling. It made him feel vulnerable and weak. There was something more in his life now besides him. 

 

There had been his team, of course, and he would hate to see something happen to any of them, but it was different with Sterling. Of course it was different with Sterling. The loss he would feel with Sterling was more than he could bear to think about. The thought of putting Sterling through that was unthinkable. 

 

“What’s wrong?” Sterling asked.

 

Eliot shook his head. “Just thinking.”

 

Sterling stared at him, waiting. Eliot huffed. “I was just thinking about you and about us.”

 

“And how you’re worried that this is all going to end in misery.”

 

“Jesus. You know me too well.”

 

“You shouldn’t worry so much. If you worry too much it will consume you and you won’t be able to enjoy what you have, and darling, if you aren’t enjoying what you have, then we have a problem.”

 

Eliot snorted. “You know I enjoy myself perfectly fine. I’m just not used to this.”

 

Sterling nodded and didn’t say anything more. They finished their sandwiches and lounged on the couch. Eliot picked up his guitar and played softly. He hadn’t picked up his guitar in a while, and it was good to feel it in his hands again, to lose himself in the music. He sang along with the guitar, forgetting about everything else.

 

He didn’t know how long he had played for, but when he was done he looked up to find Sterling watching him, smiling.

 

“What?”

 

“Do you have any idea how beautiful you are like that? You look so relaxed and soft and not at all like a hitter. You should play more often. You’re good.”

 

He could see it, the love that Sterling had for him, and it made him choke up. He put his guitar down and took Sterling’s hand, leading him to the bedroom. 

 

The house was quiet, _they_ were quiet. There was nothing but soft gasps and whispered words, sweat-slicked skin slipping against sweat-slicked skin, a slow build to something so spectacular that he didn’t have words for it. 

 

Eliot lay on his back with Sterling’s head pillowed on his chest. Eliot hadn’t known he could feel such contentment. Eliot was about to drop into sleep, satisfied beyond imagination, when the peacefulness of the afternoon was shattered by a phone ringing. 

 

Sterling grumbled as he dug around for his phone. Eliot ignored him as he answered the call. He was sure that the afternoon they had just experienced was about to end. Eliot kind of wished that there was nothing in the world besides the two of them at the moment. He wanted Sterling to stay with him here. He wanted to stay in this moment as long as he could, to pretend that everything was going to be perfect all of the time. 

 

Sterling sighed and hung up the phone, turning around to face Eliot. Eliot was sure that he was wearing a similar expression to what Sterling was showing him now.

 

“Let me guess- you have to go to work?”

 

“I don’t want to go. I’d much rather stay in bed with you for a while longer.”

 

“I know, but you have to go. They need you. It’s not like I wouldn’t do the same thing.”

 

Sterling nodded and got off the bed, heading for the bathroom, giving Eliot a spectacular view of his backside. He let his head fall to the pillow with a groan. How had he not noticed sooner that Sterling’s stomach wasn’t the only place that was getting a little chubbier? Eliot wanted to drag Sterling back into bed and bite his plump ass, amongst other things. 

 

Sterling came back out of the bathroom and stood over Eliot. “What was that groan for?”

 

“Turns out that your stomach isn’t the only place that you’re gaining a bit of weight.”

 

Sterling frowned and looked over his shoulder, trying to get a good view of his ass. When he couldn’t get a good enough look, he sighed and turned back to Eliot. “And that was what made you groan?”

 

Eliot pulled Sterling onto the bed with him and trailed a hand down his back and settled on his ass. He squeezed and another small groan escaped. “I really wish you didn’t have to go right now. I can’t believe I didn’t notice this sooner.”

 

“And you what? Want to have lots of fun with it now?”

 

“Yes,” Eliot breathed out, his dick making a valiant attempt to regain hardness. 

 

Sterling cleared his throat and pulled out of Eliot’s grasp. Eliot watched as Sterling got dressed and didn’t miss the way that Sterling was suddenly trying to hide himself from Eliot. 

 

“You know, I might like the extra weight on you, but if you’re not comfortable with it then you don’t have to keep it. I’d rather you be comfortable.”

 

Sterling shook his head. “I’m not uncomfortable. It’s not enough to bother me.”

 

“Then what’s the problem?”

 

Sterling sighed and sat on the edge of the bed. Eliot sat up and scooted closer to him. 

 

“You slept with supermodels, Eliot. How can I not be worried that you’re going to wake up one day and find me distasteful?”

 

Something clicked for Eliot, and he didn’t like it one bit. “Is this about how I see you with the weight or is this about me leaving you in general? Are you worried that I’m going to wake up one day and decide I miss sleeping with women? That this was all one huge mistake?”

 

Sterling’s silence was answer enough. It had been Eliot with the relationship worries at the beginning, and now Sterling was having those problems and Eliot wasn’t sure how to handle it. Sterling wasn’t finished talking though.

 

“I know that my feelings for you have been there longer, or at least I’ve been aware of them longer, and that this has never bothered me before, but you’ve changed me, Eliot. I’m a better man because of you. Did you know that? I hate my job most days. I hate having to tell people ‘no’. I hate having to hunt down innocent people to make sure they’re innocent. I hate not knowing if someone is innocent or not. I want to help people, Eliot. I blame you and your bloody team for that, but mostly you. I’m happy with you, Eliot. I haven’t felt that in a long time. I feel like so much less of a bastard now, so what happens if you leave?”

 

“Then do some good, Jim. Go to work and do the right thing.” Eliot put his arms around Sterling and kissed his temple. “But know that I’ll love you no matter what. I’m not going anywhere, Jim. You’re just going to have to deal with the fact that you’re stuck with me.”

 

Sterling huffed but turned his head so he could kiss Eliot, a lingering kiss that would have to last them until Sterling got home, whatever time that might be.

 

“I’ll see you tonight then.”

 

“Try not to be too late,” Eliot found himself pleading. He couldn’t help it. He didn’t like that things were weird right now. He wanted them fixed. Sterling just nodded, kissed him, and then left. 

 

Eliot fell back against the pillows, thinking. Sterling had left Interpol, for reasons that he still wouldn’t tell Eliot, and had returned to insurance, moving to Portland, again for reasons he still wouldn’t tell Eliot. And then he had started interfering with the team, sending them out on jobs, and when Eliot thought about it he realized that Sterling hadn’t tried taking them down since before he had started sleeping with Eliot. It had started when he had moved to Portland. 

 

So how was it that Eliot was the one who had changed Sterling? It seemed that Sterling had been on that road before he and Eliot had gotten together. Unless Sterling had lied about it being just about sex at the beginning. That was an interesting thought and one that he might have to ask Sterling about at some point in the future. It wasn’t important that he know the answer to that. He and Sterling were together now and Sterling loved him. That was what mattered. 

 

***

 

Eliot had spent the rest of the day tending to his garden and checking in on Olivia. It was late when he got the text message from Sterling and he thought about telling him no and that he just wanted him home, but in the end, Eliot had decided to meet Sterling at the bar where he had run into Parker and Hardison. From what he understood, Sterling had met someone there for work and then Hardison and Parker had shown up. And apparently they were all drinking together now. 

 

Eliot checked on Olivia, found her awake so he let her know he was heading out for a bit, and then left for the bar to meet Sterling. Sterling was at the bar, sitting on a stool next to Parker. It looked like they were having a conversation and that made Eliot smiled so that by the time he walked up to the bar he had a huge smile on his face. Sterling smiled back at him as Eliot took Sterling’s face into his hands and kissed him. Sterling made a pleased noise against his lips as he wound his arms around Eliot. 

 

Hardison made gagging noises from next to Parker and Eliot would flick him off except he didn’t feel like removing his hands from Sterling. Instead, he pulled out of the kiss and moved in so he could hug Sterling and nuzzle at his ear and whisper in it. “I don’t think we should stay for too long.”

 

“Are you trying to get me to go home with you?”

 

Eliot laughed. “Yeah, I am. Do you have a problem with that, darlin’?”

 

That got a full body shudder out of Sterling, and Eliot couldn’t suppress a smirk even though Sterling couldn’t see it. 

 

“Do you think the two of you could come up for air?” Hardison asked.

 

Eliot rolled his eyes. “We aren’t even kissing anymore. Although if you’d prefer, we could easily go back to that.”

 

Sterling laughed and gently pushed Eliot off of him. “Don’t worry, Hardison, we aren’t staying for long anyway. Eliot here feels the need to drag me back to his cave.”

 

Eliot snorted. “I didn’t hear you complaining about it.”

 

“And you won’t.”

 

Eliot ordered a beer but he didn’t sit down. He stood pressed against Sterling as they made conversation with Parker and Hardison. They had actually been out with the other two more than a few times now. They had been interesting outings, but they had all been fun. It was the same now except that Eliot really wanted to get Sterling home instead of staying here with Parker and Hardison. 

 

Finally, finally he managed to drag Sterling out of the bar. It was cold and there was a drizzle. Sterling shivered and Eliot smiled as he pulled Sterling into his arms for another kiss. The warmth of Sterling’s mouth and the heat of his body were welcome in the cool night air. He let his tongue slide into Sterling’s mouth, kissing him on the middle of the sidewalk while people still out for the night walked by them. Eliot ignored them all and focused on the man he was kissing, the man he knew he was going to spend the rest of his life with, whatever doubts Sterling might have at the moment. 

 

He buried his fingers in Sterling’s short hair as Sterling laughed against his lips. He loved when Sterling was relaxed and happy like this. Things must have gone well for him at work. 

 

“Jim, about earlier…”

 

Sterling shook his head. “Don’t worry about it. A moment of insecurity is all it was. I know you love me.”

 

“That’s good, because I do. I love you just the way you are. I’ll love you no matter what you do with your life and no matter how your body changes. Okay?”

 

Sterling nodded. “Can we go home now?”

 

“I’ll meet you there.” He left Sterling with one last kiss and then was on his bike heading home. 

 

Eliot wasn’t worried. He didn’t think there was anything that life could throw at them that would make him turn his back on Sterling. Things were definitely good and things were gong to stay good. Eliot was going to make sure of that.

 

Sterling and Olivia were both waiting for him at the airport. Eliot hadn’t told Sterling that he was due to arrive, so someone on the team must have called him. A part of him loved the fact that someone on the team actually called Sterling to come and take care of Eliot. But Eliot didn’t need that and he had been trying to avoid getting Sterling worried. Eliot was fine.

 

“Which one of you called them?”

 

“Eliot, you need them right now. Have you looked at yourself? There’s no way that you aren’t in pain and suffering right now, no matter how much you deny it.” 

 

Hardison meant well but Eliot growled at him just the same. Sterling walked up to him but looked over his shoulder at Hardison. “Thank you for the call, Hardison.”

 

The team left him alone with Sterling and Olivia. Sterling looked tired and Olivia looked anxious. He had no idea what Hardison had told them or when he had even called them. How long had Sterling been worrying for?

 

“Come on, Eliot. Let’s get you home.”

 

Eliot had been expecting the third degree. That would probably come. He supposed that right now Sterling just wanted to get him home and off of his feet. Eliot was all for that plan. He just wanted to get into bed. There were some injuries that Eliot needed to take care of first, and that would probably make Sterling want to take him to the hospital. He didn’t need to go to the hospital. He had more than enough experience with injuries to himself. He was in a lot of pain and it was going to take him some time to heal, but there was no reason for him to go to the hospital. He could take care of everything himself. And it wasn’t as if these were his worst injuries ever. He’d experienced far worse and had still not gone to the hospital. 

 

The car ride home was silent and uncomfortable, for more than one reason. Eliot couldn’t get comfortable because of his injuries, and he knew that Sterling was holding back whatever he wanted to say because Olivia was with them. Eliot had never been so relieved to see the house.

 

“Is there anything I can help with?” Olivia asked once they were inside. Olivia could sew and Eliot could really use that talent right about now, but Eliot wasn’t going to do that to her. Besides, Eliot could sew himself up. It wouldn’t be the first time. 

 

“Thank you, but no. I can take care of things on my own.”

 

“Really? From what I understand, you could use someone who can sew you back up.”

 

Eliot cursed under his breath, “I’m going to kill Hardison.”

 

“Let me help you, Eliot.”

 

Eliot sighed and headed for the bathroom in his and Sterling’s bedroom. All of the medical supplies he needed were in there. Sterling and Olivia both followed him. He took off his shirts and the two of them gasped. He was bleeding through his bandages. Again. Not really that surprising considering that he needed to stitch it up.

 

Sterling pulled out the first aid kit and worked on cleaning the wound. It stung but Eliot didn’t make a sound. That little sting was nothing compared to how much pain he was in from his injuries. He only had to hold out a little longer. He knew there was no way he was going to get around Sterling not knowing how bad it was. Unfortunately.

 

“Do you have anything to take for when I sew you up?”

 

“Don’t worry about it. I’ll be fine.”

 

Olivia nodded and got to work. With steadier hands than Eliot would have guessed, Olivia patiently sewed up his wound. The three of them were silent as Olivia worked. Sterling watched her the whole time, never once looking Eliot in the eyes. Eliot couldn’t stop staring at Sterling though. He knew that Sterling was worried, and he hated doing this to Sterling. He hated making Sterling feel anything other than happiness. 

 

Olivia finished, which was a good thing because he and Sterling both needed her gone now. They were both holding back with her here. 

 

He bandaged the newly stitched wound and changed into a pair of pajamas. He wanted to just lay down and go to sleep, but he knew that sleep wasn’t going to happen.

 

Olivia was watching him. He wished she would just go already. Usually he loved having her around, but he just couldn’t deal with people right now. 

 

“You know what? I’m going to get out of here and leave you two alone.”

 

“Are you sure?” Sterling asked.

 

“Eliot needs me gone, Dad. Trust me on this.”

 

Eliot chuckled though it hurt him to do so. “How did you know?”

 

Olivia shrugged. “Sophie’s been teaching me to read people. Apparently I have a knack for it.”

 

“Is there anyone on the team who isn’t teaching you their specialty?”

 

“Nate.”

 

“Of course.”

 

“See you in a few days?”

 

“Yeah. Your dad can keep you updated.”

 

Olivia nodded and walked out the bedroom door. Sterling followed her, and Eliot decided to try and lay down. He lay down slowly, mindful of his head injury, and had to sit up almost immediately, grabbing for the trash can. 

 

Sterling walked in on him hurling. Sterling ran over to him and started rubbing his back. Eliot found that he didn’t mind it. In fact, he was enjoying being comforted like that. 

 

Eliot wasn’t prone to letting people see just how much pain he was in, but Sterling was about to get all of it. Olivia had known. That’s why she had left. She knew that Eliot was holding back with her there. 

 

When Eliot was done he got off the bed, slowly, and made his way to the bathroom. It was a slow process now that he wasn’t trying to hide just how much pain he was in. He brushed his teeth with Sterling watching over him. 

 

“Aside from the wound that Olivia sewed up for you, and the concussion, what else do you have?” Sterling asked when Eliot was done with his teeth. 

 

“A few cracked ribs, a lot of bruises that haven’t shown up yet. A broken nose that I already took care of. A sprained wrist and a couple of broken fingers. Nothing out of the ordinary really.”

 

Sterling shook his head in disbelief. “How are you still walking?”

 

“Lots of practice.”

 

“I think I should take you to a hospital.”

 

“I don’t need to go. I’ve had worse and managed on my own. I’ll be fine.”

 

“Eliot, Olivia told me why she left and I can appreciate your feelings on the matter, and I know you trust me enough to show me how much pain you’re in, so why can’t you let me take care of you too? You don’t have to do this alone anymore.”

 

Eliot shuffled out of the bathroom. “I don’t need to go to the hospital.”

 

“Eliot, you just emptied your probably very empty stomach into our trash bin. You have more injuries than I’ve ever seen you with. Why can’t you just let me take you to the hospital?”

 

 _For my peace of mind_ was what Sterling left off of that sentence. Eliot sighed and walked out of the bedroom and then out of the house. He got in the passenger side of the car and sat there, waiting for Sterling to realize that Eliot was going to let him take him to the hospital. And why not? It was about more than just him now. Sterling was worried about him and if it would make Sterling feel better to get a doctor’s opinion, then that’s what he would do. What harm would it do? None. 

 

The driver’s side door opened. “Asshole. You could have told me you were coming out here.”

 

The ride to the hospital was silent, but there was no tension or awkwardness or even anger. Eliot was willing to do this for Sterling because he loved Sterling, and Sterling was grateful that Eliot was willing to not only do this for him, but to let him see what other people never got to see. 

 

Eliot suffered through all of the poking and prodding but he fought when they tried to get him to stay overnight. Even Sterling fought to take Eliot home. The doctor wasn’t happy, despite being impressed by the stitches to Eliot’s wound. He had explained that he hadn’t done it himself, but that he had the military training to know what to do.

 

Eliot was slow leaving the hospital, a hand resting on the wound that Olivia had sewn up as if that would keep it from hurting. He was in even more pain now and he really just wanted to get some sleep.

 

They made it home and Eliot let Sterling help him to the bedroom. He sat on the bed as Sterling talked to Eliot about the pain pills the doctor had given him. Eliot didn’t really want them but Sterling was so earnest about helping him feel better and making sure he got the care that he needed. It was sweet.

 

Eliot didn’t even realize he was smiling until Sterling paused and looked at him. “What?”

 

Eliot patted the bed for Sterling to sit, and when Sterling did he leaned in and placed a kiss on the corner of Sterling’s mouth. Sterling smiled, almost shyly, and then wrapped his arms around Eliot for a quick hug. He cupped Eliot’s cheek, stroking it with his thumb, and then ran his fingers through Eliot’s hair. “Let me go get you a glass of water and then I’ll join you.”

 

Eliot nodded, his throat suddenly dry. Sterling came back with the water and handed him a couple of pills. Eliot hesitated but took them. They would make him lose control more than alcohol ever did. It was part of the reason he always hated taking them. 

 

Sterling lay down next to him and Eliot curled up against him. Sterling ran his fingers through Eliot’s hair as Eliot waited for the painkillers to take effect. 

 

“How are you feeling?”

 

“I’ve been worse.”

 

Sterling sighed. “What am I going to do with you?”

 

“For starters, you can keep doing that with your fingers.”

 

Sterling was now scratching at his scalp.

 

“Eliot, are you planning on jumping right back into work once you’re healed?”

 

“I am.”

 

“Would you hate me if I asked you to take some time off after you’ve healed? Maybe we can go on another vacation or maybe just spend some time alone here.”

 

“Why would I hate you for that?”

 

Sterling shrugged and didn’t answer him.

 

“Jim, I know you would never ask me to quit my job, so if you want me to take some time off then I’ll take some time off.”

 

Sterling kissed the top of his head. Eliot could feel the painkillers starting to take effect. He snuggled against Sterling and let out a sigh.

 

Sterling snorted. “Are those painkillers starting to work?”

 

“Yes. Shut up.”

 

Sterling chuckled but left him alone. As Eliot drifted off he thought about how nice it was that he actually had somebody taking care of him while he was like this, and who would always take care of him when he was like this. Sterling didn’t want to coddle him, not really, but he was still a bit of a mother hen and Eliot could deal with that. Besides, this was kind of nice. Eliot could definitely get used to Sterling taking care of him.


	8. Chapter 8

 

They were on their way back to the office from lunch. Even though the office was attached to a restaurant, they had decided to go out for lunch. 

 

Eliot stopped when he saw Sterling coming out of a restaurant. He couldn’t stop the goofy smile that spread across his face as he prepared to call out to him. A younger woman stepped out next to him though and they were talking. 

 

Eliot didn’t bother calling out to Sterling. He was probably having lunch with a coworker and Eliot didn’t want to bother him. 

 

“Aw man. Look at that. Right out in the open where anyone can see them.”

 

“Hardison, what the hell are you talking about?”

 

“Sterling and that woman. She’s definitely younger than you. Maybe he just got tired of being with a guy. Don’t worry, Eliot. We’ll find out who she is so we can take care of things.”

 

Eliot gaped at Hardison. “You think Sterling is cheating on me?”

 

“Well, yeah. I do have eyes.”

 

Eliot rolled his own. “Hardison, Sterling is not cheating on me.”

 

Hardison shook his head. “Man, you can’t even see what’s right in front of you. Don’t worry. I’ll take care of things.”

 

“She’s not even that pretty,” Parker commented.

 

Eliot sighed. “Listen you two, Sterling is not cheating on me.”

 

“Come on, man. There’s not even the tiniest bit of doubt?”

 

“No.”

 

“And what makes you so sure?”

 

“I trust him and I know him. He’s not cheating on me.”

 

“Then do you know who that woman is?”

 

“No, but I don’t keep tabs on Sterling’s friends.”

 

“Well maybe you should. It’s a good thing you have me.”

 

Eliot dragged Hardison and Parker back to the office. “Just leave it alone, Hardison. Sterling is not cheating on me.”

 

Hardison didn’t say anything to him but he could see him fiddling around with his phone. In a few minutes Eliot would know everything he didn’t want to know about the woman that Sterling had been with. 

 

He wasn’t lying to Hardison and Parker. He truly didn’t believe that Sterling was cheating on him. He knew Sterling wouldn’t do that to him and he trusted Sterling completely. 

 

When they were back at the office, Hardison put up the picture he had taken of Sterling and the woman and began spouting off information about her.

 

“Her name is Melissa Sanderson. She’s twenty-one years old and she’s a student. She’s lived here her entire life, and from what I can tell she has every appearance of being a good girl.”

 

“Who does?” Sophie asked as her and Nate walked in.

 

“Melissa Sanderson, the woman we saw Sterling with just a few minutes ago.”

 

“Sterling’s cheating on Eliot?” Sophie asked in surprise.

 

“And she’s only twenty-one.”

 

“Sophie, don’t tell me you believe this too.”

 

Sophie had the decency to look abashed. “Eliot, I might trust him enough to work with him on occasion, but that doesn’t mean I don’t think he’s capable of something like this.”

 

“So what you’re really saying is that you don’t believe he’s capable of loving me. I’m not sure if that’s a slight against me or against him.”

 

“Well, Eliot, you have to admit that it does look suspicious.”

 

“Sterling is not cheating on me.” Eliot walked out of the office and into the restaurant. He took a table in the corner to sit and be away from others. 

 

He thought he had made progress with the team and their hatred of Sterling, but apparently he was wrong. They didn’t trust Sterling at all. The only reason they were trying was so they would still have their hitter on jobs. 

 

That wasn’t fair. Sterling had been trying so hard to get on his team’s good side, and they didn’t care.

 

Eliot was surprised when Nate sat down across from him.

 

“Are you here to try and convince me of something I know isn’t true?”

 

“No.”

 

“No?”

 

“Eliot, Sterling didn’t cheat on you.”

 

“I know. That’s what I’ve been trying to convince everyone else of. But how would you know? You didn’t even know he had a wife and daughter. Did you even know that he was into guys as well?”

 

“Eliot, it doesn’t matter if I knew that stuff or not. I know his character. He didn’t cheat on you.”

 

“Nate, are you ever going to be okay with this?”

 

“I’m getting there.”

 

Eliot wanted to continue this conversation, but Sterling walked in the door. “Jim? What are you doing here?”

 

“I got a message telling me you guys were thinking of including me on a job.”

 

Eliot growled.

 

“Oh boy,” Nate commented. “This is not going to be pretty.”

 

“Eliot?”

 

Eliot ignored the both of them and stormed back to the office. “Damn it, Hardison! Why the hell did you have to interfere with my personal life?” Eliot slammed his hand down on the counter. “Sterling is not cheating on me!”

 

Hardison ignored him. “Sterling, would you care to tell us who Melissa Sanderson is?” 

 

Sterling was staring at the picture of him and Melissa that Hardison had up. “You all think I’m cheating on Eliot?”

 

“Nate doesn’t. And neither do I.”

 

Sterling turned to Nate. “Thank you, Nate.” 

 

Nate nodded and then Sterling came over to him. “You don’t think I’m cheating on you?”

 

“I know you’re not cheating on me?”

 

“You seem so sure of yourself.”

 

“You wouldn’t do that to me.”

 

“And why not?”

 

Eliot cupped Sterling’s face in his hands and pressed their foreheads together. “Because you love me and I love you and because we have something good. I know you wouldn’t do that to me, Jim.”

 

Sterling smiled and kissed him. “Thank you for knowing that I wouldn’t cheat on you,” he whispered against Eliot’s lips. 

 

Sterling pulled away from Eliot to address the group. “I’m not cheating on Eliot, but there is something he needs to know. I don’t think this is the proper place to discuss it.” He turned back to Eliot. “It’s something you’re really not going to like.”

 

“You may as well tell me here. They’re not going to stop until they know what’s going on.”

 

Sterling’s face fell. He looked like he was dreading doing this here, and Eliot wondered if maybe they should do this later at home. But no, his team would hound him, or search on their own, until they knew what was going on.

 

“I’m so sorry, Eliot. I was going to tell you later tonight anyway and I’m so sorry that it’s being done like this now.”

 

Eliot felt cold dread fill the pit of his stomach. Whatever Sterling was about to tell him, it was going to be bad.

 

“Melissa is Olivia’s girlfriend.”

 

“Olivia has a girlfriend? For how long?”

 

“Six months.”

 

“And how long have you known?”

 

“A couple of weeks.”

 

Eliot knew that there was a reasonable explanation for that, but Hardison butted in again. “See, Eliot. Sterling was hiding something.”

 

Eliot narrowed his eyes and stomped across the room to Hardison. His fists were clenched by his side. He wanted to hit Hardison more than anything right now. 

 

“Get out,” he growled instead.

 

“This is my place. You can’t kick me out.”

 

“Hardison, you had to interfere in things that weren’t any of your business. Sterling’s not cheating on me, just like I told you he wasn’t, and while I appreciate your concern, now we really are in territory that doesn’t concern you. Get. Out.”

 

“Come on, Hardison. Let’s leave them in peace.” At least Sophie still had some brains left. He felt a hand rest on his arm, gripping him lightly. It was Sterling trying to warn him to calm down. Eliot thought he had done a good job at staying calm when all he wanted to do was punch someone. 

 

“I’d like to stay, if that’s okay. I’m the only other person here besides Sterling who’s had a… I might be of some use.”

 

He didn’t know that he really wanted Nate to stay. Nate still wasn’t their biggest supporter, though apparently nobody on the team was.

 

“Eliot, I’d actually like to get his opinion.”

 

Eliot nodded. He couldn’t refuse Sterling. 

 

Sterling waited until Sophie, Parker, and Hardison had left before speaking up. “I would have told you sooner, Eliot, but Olivia didn’t want me to say anything.”

 

“Jim, you know how much I love Olivia. You would have told me she had a girlfriend if that’s all it was. There’s something more.”

 

Sterling nodded. “Please don’t make me tell you.”

 

“Jim, I need to know.”

 

“But I know what it’s going to do to you.”

 

Eliot stepped into Sterling’s space and cupped his cheek. Sterling closed his eyes, a look of resignation and sadness apparent on his face anyway. 

 

“She didn’t want me to tell you about Melissa because she doesn’t want Melissa to meet you.”

 

“What?” Eliot asked. His hand fell from Sterling’s cheek. He was having trouble breathing and he wondered when it had gotten so cold in the room.

 

“She’s ashamed of you, of what you do.”

 

Eliot shook his head, forcing himself to breathe. He couldn’t believe what he was hearing and it made him feel sick to his stomach, but the implications kept him from losing his head.

 

“If she’s ashamed of me then that means she’s ashamed of you and of us.”

 

Sterling nodded but didn’t say anything more. 

 

“Sterling, has she ever shown any signs that she had issues with Eliot?” Nate asked.

 

“No. We both thought that she loved him. We both thought that she loved what he did. He’s been teaching her how to fight. The rest of your team have been teaching her what they do too. I had no idea.”

 

“Did she always feel this way or was it a recent development?”

 

Eliot was glad Nate was taking over the conversation because Eliot’s mind had gone blank. He was having enough trouble processing this news. He really had thought Olivia liked him, but she had fooled Sterling too.

 

“Apparently she’s always had an issue with him but she never said anything because I was happy. Even at the beginning I was happy.”

 

“So let me get this straight, she gets a girlfriend and she expects you to break up with your boyfriend because she’s ashamed of him. And she expects you to do all of this even though she never told you she had a problem with him and doesn’t even live with you guys. Is that all correct?”

 

Sterling nodded. 

 

“Sterling, as much as I hate to say it, I think if my son had pulled something like that I would have been pissed, but at the same time, that’s your kid.”

 

“I know. If she had just said something when this had all started it wouldn’t have been a problem.”

 

“But now you’re in love with Eliot and she doesn’t even live with you. I don’t think you’re planning on calling it off with Eliot, and I think that’s the right decision.”

 

Sterling was no longer looking at Nate though. “Eliot? Are you okay?”

 

“Fine. Just fine.”

 

“Eliot-“

 

“It’s fine, Jim. We can talk and worry about it later, okay?”

 

Sterling nodded, though he might have said more if his phone hadn’t rung at that moment.

 

 _Olivia_ , Sterling mouthed as he picked it up and walked off, not bothering to lower his voice to hide the conversation. 

 

“We should get back to our meeting anyway. We still have a job to do. I’m going to go ahead and bring all of the others in.”

 

Eliot nodded. Nate put a hand on his shoulder and gave him a squeeze. “Don’t feel guilty over this. It’s not your fault, even if it is about you. It’s going to suck being in the middle of things but this is all on Olivia.”

 

Eliot nodded again but this time Nate left him to go get the rest of the team. 

 

“You can’t ask me to do that, Olivia,” Sterling was saying on the phone. Eliot started heading in Sterling’s direction. Whatever Olivia said about him, however Olivia felt about him, Sterling was going to be the one suffering in all of this, and Eliot needed to be there for him. 

 

“Olivia, I will not ask Eliot to leave the house so you can have Melissa over for dinner!” Sterling shouted just as the team walked back in. Eliot ignored them in favor of walking up behind Sterling and wrapping his arms around him, resting his cheek on Sterling’s shoulder. Sterling patted one of Eliot’s arms as he ended his conversation with Olivia. “There will be no further discussion on that, Olivia, but we will be discussing the situation in general and we will be doing it soon. I expect you to think very carefully about things before then.” Sterling hung up the phone and leaned back against Eliot.

 

“I’m sorry. I hate what this is going to do to you, what it’s already doing to you.”

 

“Why are you worried about me? I’m worried about you.”

 

“I may have started seeing Olivia as a daughter, but she’s your biological daughter and things are going to be very unpleasant. I don’t expect you to choose. I would never expect you to do that. I don’t think you would anyway. How could you? And if it comes down to me having to kill a few hours elsewhere so you can have dinner with her, then so be it.”

 

“No. Absolutely not. I won’t kick you out of your own house for her. We’ll figure something out. Hopefully she’ll come to her senses. We really shouldn’t be discussing this right now though. We can talk later, like you said.”

 

Eliot turned Sterling around in his arms and kissed him, completely uncaring that the team was watching him. 

 

Sterling followed him as Eliot went to watch Hardison’s presentation. Eliot sat and pulled Sterling between his legs, wrapping his arms around him and resting his chin on Sterling’s shoulder. 

 

He paid attention to Hardison only because he had to. What he wanted was to be at home with Sterling, where they could talk or just be with each other. Was it too much to ask to want to cuddle up on the couch with Sterling right now?

 

Finally they were dismissed, but their flight left in only a few hours. There wasn’t time for anything before he had to leave Sterling. 

 

“Hardison, I expect to have a ticket waiting for me too.”

 

Hardison looked like he was going to object.

 

“Hardison, I think you owe the both of us that much,” Eliot said before Hardison got a chance to talk. Hardison nodded so he led Sterling out of the office and through the restaurant. 

 

Sterling drove them home in silence. They packed, which really wasn’t much. Eliot had taught Sterling to pack light, not that Sterling had been a heavy packer really, but Eliot had managed to get Sterling down to even less. 

 

“I’m glad you’re coming with me,” he told Sterling.

 

“I didn’t think we should be apart right now. I think it will be easier for you to concentrate on your job if I’m there.”

 

Eliot pulled Sterling into a hug and sighed. “I think you’re right.”

 

They actually stood in their bedroom and hugged until it was time to leave to meet the team at the airport. 

 

When they were finally on the airplane, first class thanks to Hardison, and in the air, Eliot unbuckled his seat belt and curled up against Sterling. Sterling wrapped his arms around Eliot.

 

“Do you think she’ll stop talking to you if you refuse to call things off with me?”

 

“I don’t know. She might. She seems pretty set having you out of my life.”

 

“It’s not fair and she has to know that. She’s been playing along this whole time, and how am I not worse than you?”

 

Sterling jabbed him in the side. “Hey.”

 

“You know I didn’t mean it like that.”

 

“I know. And you’re right. It’s not fair and you’re not much worse than I am, at least not these days, and please don’t take that the wrong way.”

 

He didn’t. He used to kill people. He knew what his past held but he didn’t think Olivia was basing things on his past.

 

“I don’t. I know what’s in my past. I don’t think she’s going off of that though. I don’t understand. Maybe it has something to do with her girlfriend. Hardison said something about her being a good girl.”

 

“I suppose it’s possible. People do all sorts of stupid things when they’re in love.”

 

Eliot snorted. 

 

“Darling, try not to think about it for now. You need to focus so you don’t die on this case.”

 

“You’re going to be thinking about it while we’re out here.”

 

“I’m not on this job. I’m just along for the ride. I’m just here to make sure you don’t do anything too stupid.”

 

“And because you couldn’t stand to be parted from me.”

 

Sterling chortled. “So full of yourself.”

 

Eliot smiled and rested his head on Sterling’s chest. Sterling was right. This was something that Eliot needed to put out of his mind until they were back in Portland. They were going to have to discuss Eliot’s team too, and Eliot was not looking forward to that. He wasn’t looking forward to any of this. 

 

Part of him kind of wanted a normal life, and not because of Olivia. He liked to hit things but he just wanted what other people had. Not for himself. For him and Sterling. He wanted what society would consider a “normal” relationship for the two of them, and if that meant giving up what he did, then he might actually consider doing it. 

 

It wasn’t as if he needed money. He and Sterling were set for life. Sterling still worked because he enjoyed it. Eliot still worked because he actually liked helping people. But maybe it was time to give that up. Maybe he couldn’t work with his team anymore. He wasn’t sure he could trust them anymore, and he wasn’t sure they trusted him. 

 

His relationship with Sterling had made a mess out of a lot of things, but Eliot didn’t want to give it up. He couldn’t give it up. They had something, the two of them. They had something good and Eliot shouldn’t have to give that up. 

 

They spent the rest of the flight curled up together, despite the obvious displeasure of the stewardess. When they got to the hotel he told his team he’d see them in the morning and then he dragged Sterling off to their room. 

 

“You’ve been thinking about it the whole time, haven’t you.”

 

“Are you telling me that you haven’t?”

 

“Of course I have, but once again, I’m not the one on the job here.”

 

“I wonder what I would do with my life if I didn’t do a job like this.”

 

Sterling pulled him onto the bed and into his arms. “Where did that come from? Is this because of Olivia?”

 

“No. It’s because of you.”

 

“Me? I’ve never asked you to quit.”

 

“I know, but I can’t help wanting to give you a somewhat normal life. Or at least not what we have here.”

 

“Eliot, what has given you the impression that what we have needs to change?”

 

Eliot sighed. He knew he was going to have to tell Sterling exactly what was on his mind. “I’m not sure if I should be working with my team anymore.”

 

“Because of what happened today?”

 

“Jim, I thought we had made so much progress with them, but they were all ready to jump to the worst possible conclusion about you. Except for Nate. And I don’t understand that one still.”

 

“Eliot, I may not have told Nate everything about my life, but he does know me. He probably just needed time to make sure that I wasn’t going to hurt you, and once he knew that then he knew that I wouldn’t do something like cheat on you. In fact, I imagine that he’s probably been okay with this for longer than he’s let on.”

 

“Really? You think so?”

 

“I do. It wasn’t always like this between us, you know.”

 

“I know. I just feel like it was a sudden change. He went from not trusting you, to kicking me off the team, then to knowing that you wouldn’t cheat on me.”

 

“Nate cares about you, Eliot. He wanted to make sure I wouldn’t hurt you. I think part of him wanted to make sure you wouldn’t hurt me.”

 

Eliot could see that if it was someone who wasn’t Nate. After everything Sterling had been through with his ex and his daughter, even if, as he claimed, them leaving him was his fault. The rest was stuff he should never have had to deal with. 

 

“It’s strange. I think Nate being okay with this is going to take some getting used to. I just thought the rest of the team was okay with this. Sophie encouraged me to fix things with you. How could they all still think that you would do something like cheat on me?”

 

“Because they’ve spent a lot of years hating me.”

 

“So did I.”

 

“Yes, but I’m not having sex with any of them.”

 

“You better not be,” Eliot growled, leaning in to kiss Sterling. 

 

“I suggest we order a ridiculous amount of room service and spend the rest of the night watching terrible movies on TV.”

 

“I like the way you think,” Eliot said, getting up in search of the room service menu. Eliot found the menu and brought it back to bed with him.

 

“Jim, we’re going to be okay, right?”

 

“Of course we will be. We’ll make this work.”

 

Eliot nodded and settled in for what promised to be a good night.

 

 

“I am going to kill you all when I get back,” Eliot threatened.

 

“Even me?” Sterling purred. 

 

“Even you. You had way too much fun with that.”

 

“Did you want me to be jealous, darling? It’s all part of the job.”

 

“It might be, but I’m glad nobody seemed to have a problem with how uncomfortable I was having to kiss her.”

 

“Hurry back and I’ll make it up to you.”

 

The rest of the team gagged and Eliot was tempted to pull out his earbud. He was still uncomfortable working with the team. He and Sterling had talked some more about it last night and Sterling told him he would support his decision not to do this work anymore, but he wanted to make sure that Eliot really thought about it first. Eliot could do that, though if today was anything to go by, he really wasn’t sure that he wanted to stay. 

 

He could handle Sterling giving him a hard time about the woman. Sterling knew how much he had hated doing that. He wasn’t so sure anymore that his team understood. 

 

When he got back to Hardison’s room, where everyone was waiting for him, he pulled Sterling to him and kissed him, sliding his tongue into Sterling’s mouth, needing to get the taste of that woman out of his. 

 

“Better?” Sterling asked.

 

“For now. I’ll be even better when we get back to our room.”

 

Sterling smirked. “Then we should probably go.”

 

Eliot ignored the various faces, mostly in the “gross” range, and followed Sterling out of Hardison’s room and back to theirs. They made quick work of their clothes and then Eliot shoved Sterling onto the bed. He still felt like he needed to get the taste of that woman out of his mouth. 

 

He pressed Sterling into the mattress, settling his weight onto Sterling’s body as he kissed him. He didn’t linger though. There was something else he needed so much more right now. 

 

He slid down Sterling’s body and wrapped his lips around Sterling’s dick. He sucked gently as he worked his way further down Sterling’s length. Sterling’s hands found their way down to Eliot’s hair, his fingers tangling through it, gripping him tightly but not quite pulling. 

 

Eliot welcomed the taste of Sterling on his tongue. It still amazed him sometimes just how much he loved doing this. He loved doing anything and everything for Sterling. 

 

He took Sterling fully into his mouth, swallowing around him. Sterling groaned, and because he could, he swallowed around Sterling again. He slowly pulled back until just the head was in Eliot’s mouth. 

 

He knew what Sterling liked. He knew how to make Sterling last and he knew how to make it quick. Right now he needed it quick. He needed Sterling’s come. 

 

He sucked on the head while using his hand on the rest of Sterling’s dick until Sterling started getting closer. He removed his hand and slid his lips all the way down Sterling’s length again and swallowed once, twice, and Sterling was coming, hands tightening in Eliot’s hair. Eliot swallowed everything that Sterling gave to him and then rested his head on Sterling’s thigh with a happy sigh. 

 

Eliot stayed where he was until Sterling came down from his orgasm and began tugging Eliot back up to him. Eliot let himself be pulled into the kiss, not even caring that he hadn’t gotten off yet. He would be okay if it didn’t happen. He knew that Sterling would insist, and that was fine too, but it wasn’t necessary. Eliot had already gotten exactly what he wanted. 

 

He was pleasantly surprised when Sterling started stroking him slowly, just a lazy tug on his dick. That was something Eliot could get on board with right now. He sighed into Sterling’s mouth and let the orgasm build slowly. He came with a grunt against Sterling’s lips, refusing to pull his lips away from Sterling’s. 

 

He kissed Sterling until he could no longer keep his eyes open, and he fell asleep with a smile on his face. 

 

 

Eliot wanted to punch somebody. Why couldn’t this have been one of those jobs where he had to punch a lot of people? Why did this have to be one of those jobs where he had to keep a woman occupied while the rest of his team worked?

 

They found the whole situation amusing again. This time Sterling wasn’t joining in on the fun. He had seen how intense Eliot had been last night after just kissing that woman. And now he had just barely managed to wriggle his way out of sleeping with her. She had been persistent. And a bit forceful. 

 

He really needed to punch someone. 

 

Eliot had barely made it into Hardison’s room when Sterling was on him and ushering him out. Sterling took his earbud out and then took Eliot’s out as well. 

 

“Are you okay?” Sterling asked.

 

“I want to hit something.”

 

“I thought as much. There’s a gym here. Do you want to go let off some steam?”

 

Eliot stopped in the middle of the hallway and just looked at Sterling. Suddenly there was something he wanted more than punching someone. Eliot cleared his throat. “Actually, I think I’d rather just go back to the room.”

 

“Are you sure?”

 

Eliot grinned and pulled Sterling in for a kiss. Neither of them were huge fans of making out in public. They’d done it a couple of times before. If Sterling was in the right mood and Eliot kissed him in the middle of a public place, he would melt in Eliot’s arms, much like he was doing now. 

 

Eliot pulled out of the kiss, grabbed Sterling’s hand, and led Sterling back to their room. He knew what he wanted. He needed to get the taste of that woman out of his mouth again but he needed something more than what he had enjoyed last night. 

 

“Get undressed and go lie on your back in bed,” Sterling ordered. His reluctance must have been obvious because Sterling rolled his eyes. “Would you relax? I know exactly what you need. Trust me.”

 

Eliot wasn’t sure if Sterling knew exactly what he needed, but he trusted Sterling so he took his clothes off and lay on his back in bed, just like Sterling had ordered. Sterling stripped out of his own clothes and then grabbed the lube they had brought with them. Not sure what was about to happen here, but certain that it wasn’t what he wanted, he felt himself relax anyway as Sterling joined him on the bed and kissed him. 

 

He pulled away from Eliot and then tucked another pillow under his head. “I told you that I knew exactly what you needed. I just wanted to have fun too.” Sterling turned around and then straddled Eliot so that Sterling’s ass was in his face. Eliot’s breath caught in his throat. It turned out that Sterling really had known exactly what he needed. 

 

“You’re perfect,” Eliot breathed out, grasping Sterling’s hips and pulling him in closer. When Sterling was positioned the way he wanted him he flicked out his tongue for his first taste of Sterling just as Sterling took him into his mouth, his fingers teasing at Eliot’s hole. 

 

There was no finesse in what he did now. He wanted to taste Sterling, not tease him. He stuck a couple of fingers into his mouth and made sure to get them really wet. One of Sterling’s fingers breached him and he let out a groan. He removed his fingers and eased one into Sterling, taking more care than Sterling had since he was only working with spit. 

 

He stretched Sterling enough that he could fit his tongue inside of him without too much of a problem, the muscles relaxed enough to let him ease it in, Sterling groaning around his dick in response. 

 

He ran his tongue along the inside of Sterling as Sterling pushed a second finger into Eliot. Eliot thrust up into Sterling’s mouth, knowing that Sterling would move with him. 

 

Eliot lost himself in the smell and the taste of Sterling, in the feel of Sterling’s fingers inside of him, moving against his prostate, and the feel of Sterling’s skin beneath Eliot’s hands, in the delicious little groans that Sterling was making. 

 

Eliot was aware of a knock at the door but he ignored it and it seemed that Sterling was ignoring it too, if he had even heard the knock. After a few minutes Eliot had forgotten all about the knock, too interested in Sterling’s most intimate area around his tongue and Sterling’s fingers moving inside of him as Sterling’s mouth slid up and down his length. 

 

Suddenly the door to their room opened and he heard Hardison let out a few choice curses, and then the door slammed closed. Eliot hadn’t bothered to stop what he was doing, and neither had Sterling. It served Hardison right for breaking into a room that he knew Sterling and Eliot shared. 

 

Eliot was getting close so he wrapped one of his hands around Sterling’s dick and started stroking him. Eliot groaned as Sterling’s fingers hit the sweet spot again and he came in Sterling’s mouth as Sterling spilled on Eliot’s chest. 

 

Sterling collapsed down to his elbows but Eliot didn’t let him go. He pulled his tongue out of Sterling and just licked around the rim instead. Sterling relaxed as Eliot continued to taste him. He continued tasting Sterling until Sterling finally pulled away, too sensitive for even Eliot’s tongue. He turned himself around and fell to the bed next to Eliot, curling up against him. 

 

“Hardison broke into our room while we were in the middle of that, didn’t he?”

 

“Yes he did.”

 

“Bloody idiot. What did he think was going to happen when he broke into our room?”

 

“Who cares. Let’s just sleep.”

 

Sterling laughed quietly in his ear. “Do you feel better?”

 

Eliot smiled and wrapped his arms around Sterling.

 

“I’ll take that as a yes then.”

 

***

 

Hardison wouldn’t look either of them in the eye at breakfast, which made both Sterling and Eliot laugh. Hardison muttered under his breath while the rest of the team looked on, confused. 

 

It was Sophie who broke the silence. “What happened last night?”

 

“Hardison decided to break into our room.”

 

Nate and Sophie both couldn’t keep from laughing and Parker looked on, still not knowing what they were talking about.

 

Hardison shook his head. “Y’all nasty.”

 

“Hey, what I do with my-“ Eliot cut himself off from calling Sterling his husband and cleared his throat. “What I do with Sterling in the privacy of our own room is none of your business, Hardison. What were you thinking breaking into our room?”

 

“You didn’t answer the door and I didn’t hear anything from inside.”

 

Eliot smirked. “Yeah, well, both of our mouths were kind of busy.”

 

Hardison shook his head. “Nasty.”

 

Hardison was starting to piss Eliot off. What business of his was it what Eliot and Sterling did together? They were two consenting adults in a loving relationship. 

 

“Hardison, what were they doing?” Sophie asked.

 

“I can’t even talk about it. They’re nasty, just nasty.”

 

If Eliot hadn’t been so focused on Hardison out of anger he would have never noticed it. A tiny twitch that indicated Hardison was having a hard time keeping a straight face.

 

“Damn it, Hardison. He’s playing with us.”

 

Next to him, Sterling let out a sigh. “That’s a relief. Hardison, you have no idea how tense Eliot was. I don’t think he would have hesitated to become violent.”

 

“Man, Eliot, how could you think I was serious?”

 

Eliot didn’t have an answer for that. Hardison’s eyes widened. “Unless, Eliot, you don’t think it’s nasty, do you?”

 

“Of course not. Don’t be ridiculous, Hardison. Do you think I would be doing that if I thought that?”

 

“Maybe it’s something that Sterling wants and you do it just to make him happy.”

 

Eliot shook his head because that wasn’t even close to the truth. That had been for Eliot and Eliot alone. Not that he would ever leave Sterling unsatisfied, but it hadn’t been for Sterling and Sterling knew that. 

 

Breakfast was finished and Eliot really didn’t feel like hanging around. He stood up and Sterling was about to get up with him when Hardison started talking. “Hold on, Eliot. We have something to say to you.”

 

“I don’t,” Nate interjected.

 

“Right. We all have something to say to you except Nate. We’re sorry that we jumped to conclusions with Sterling. Obviously he wasn’t cheating on you and clearly we still have some trust issues.”

 

“I feel awful about accusing Sterling of cheating, especially when I was the one who encouraged the relationship in the first place,” Sophie told them. 

 

“And I shouldn’t have snooped when you told me not to. You knew that Sterling wasn’t cheating on you and I refused to believe you. I thought I was doing the right thing. Instead I forced an issue that should have been discussed in private.”

 

Eliot and Sterling both turned towards Parker. Parker got up and shocked everyone when she hugged Sterling. Sterling’s eyes were wide and his mouth was hanging open. “Parker is hugging me.”

 

Eliot laughed. “Yes she is.”

 

Parker finished hugging Sterling and then went back to her seat. 

 

“What do you say we all go down and take a ride on the _Maid of the Mist_?”

 

They all agreed to go, so they made their way down there as a group, Eliot and Sterling bringing up the rear.

 

“Was it my imagination or were you about to call me your husband back there?”

 

“What makes you say that?”

 

“Well you certainly weren’t about to call me your boyfriend or your partner.”

 

Eliot didn’t say anything. Sterling bumped shoulders with him. “You know, I kind of like the sound of husband.”

 

Eliot wrapped his arm around Sterling. “I think we should wait.”

 

“Because of Olivia?”

 

“Because of Olivia,” Eliot agreed.

 

“We’re in agreement though?”

 

Eliot grinned. “Yes.”

 

“I must admit, I’m surprised.”

 

“There was a time when marriage wasn’t out of the question. I just never thought it would happen for me again.”

 

“And what about what you do? Are you still thinking about leaving the team?”

 

Eliot shrugged. “They apologized. I suppose I can see how things go.”

 

Sterling smirked at him like he had known all along what Eliot would do. Hell, Sterling probably _had_ known what it was Eliot would do. Sterling knew him well. Maybe a little too well. But that was okay. Eliot was actually very okay with that. 

 

They boarded the _Maid of the Mist_ and managed to stand near the front of the boat. Nate and Sophie had opted to stay on land and Eliot thought they were really missing out. The falls soaked them, the four of them laughing as they were drenched. 

 

Despite the problems they were now facing with Olivia, Eliot felt lighter than he had in a long time. 

 

They met Nate and Sophie back on land. Nate and Sophie led them back to the hotel, Nate’s hand resting on Sophie’s lower back. Parker and Hardison were behind Nate and Sophie, walking closely together but not touching. Eliot and Sterling brought up the rear again, holding hands.

 

They were going home.


	9. Epilogue

 

Everyone cheered as Eliot and Jim kissed by the edge of the pool. Everyone was already in the pool, laughing and having a good time. Jim and Eliot had been the last to arrive, even though it was their pool, and shouts for a kiss had echoed around them. 

 

He and Jim were married now, and they had invited everyone over to the house to celebrate in their huge indoor pool. Tables of food had been set out and there were coolers filled with beverages scattered around. His entire team was here, including Tara, and Jim had friends here from work. The only person missing was Olivia. 

 

Jim had tried to work things out with Olivia, but it wasn’t happening. They talked from time to time but their relationship was strained. Jim was dealing and Eliot did his best to be there for Jim when he needed it. 

 

Eliot jumped into the pool and Jim sat down on the edge lowering his legs into the pool. Eliot treaded water in between Jim’s legs. “Aren’t you going to get in?”

 

“Maybe later.”

 

Eliot huffed and wrapped his arms around Jim, pulling him into the water. 

 

“You big oaf. Are you going to throw me over your shoulder and drag me back to your cave now too?”

 

Eliot grinned and pushed Jim up against the edge of the pool. “Now that is an excellent idea.”

 

He leaned in to kiss Jim before Jim could respond. Everyone had already gone back to whatever it was they had been doing before Jim and Eliot had shown up, but he didn’t doubt that a few, if not all, of them were watching him and Jim now. Eliot didn’t care. He was too happy to care about much else right now.

 

They had hoped to wait on getting married until things with Olivia were okay again, but that wasn’t happening and they had decided that they really didn’t want to wait. Despite the problems with Olivia, things had been really good between them since that trip to Niagara Falls. Eliot had even started thinking of Jim exclusively as Jim. He hardly even used Sterling if they were working a job together. 

 

There was a splash and Eliot and Jim were being soaked with pool water. They pulled out of the kiss, wiping their faces and glaring at both Hardison and Parker. Hardison was smirking but Parker looked positively gleeful. 

 

“What the hell do you two want?”

 

“We challenge you to a game of chicken,” Hardison replied. Eliot raised an eyebrow.

 

“Come on, darling. If they want their asses kicked, then who are we to deny them that?”

 

Eliot rolled his eyes but he ducked under the water and swam between Jim’s legs to lift him up onto his shoulders. When he surfaced he found that Hardison was sitting on top of Parker’s shoulders. He snorted but he wasn’t surprised. 

 

They got into position and Hardison was the one who made the first move, shoving at Jim. Parker was right there with him, shoving against Eliot. It turned into a shoving matching between all four of them until it was Hardison falling into the water with Parker. He and Jim cheered, and then Hardison was back on Parker’s shoulders and they were at it again, laughing and shouting and cheering. Eliot was actually enjoying himself. 

 

They played a few more rounds, kicking Parker and Hardison’s asses each time, before Parker and Hardison went off in search of some food and Eliot had Jim to himself again. Eliot wrapped himself around Jim and kissed him. 

 

“You’re awfully affectionate,” Jim commented when Eliot moved to start nuzzling at his neck.

 

“Should I not be affectionate with my husband?” Eliot asked. 

 

“Husband,” Jim repeated.

 

“Mm. Husband.”

 

Jim took Eliot’s face in his hands and kissed him. Eliot got that. He liked when they used the “h” word too. 

 

They made out in the pool for a while, uncaring about all the people that might be watching them, before getting out and browsing through the food and drinks. Jim left him to go talk to a couple of guys from work, so Eliot took his beer and sat at the edge of the pool, letting his legs hang over into the water as he watched Jim talking to the guys from his office. 

 

Eliot wasn’t alone for long. Nate sat down next to him. “You’re smiling,” Nate commented.

 

“I know.”

 

It made him think of a conversation he’d had with Nate when Nate was thinking of doing something that would change him permanently. He turned to look at Nate. “Do you know what I see in the mirror these days?”

 

Nate looked at him but didn’t say anything, waiting to hear what Eliot was going to say. 

 

“Do you know what I see when I look in the mirror these days? I see a man. A man who is happy. A man who is in love, and is loved in return. I won’t ever be that innocent boy again, but I can honestly say that when I look in the mirror now, I’m happy with what I see.” Eliot glanced over at Jim. “He’s made me a better man.”

 

“That boy, with the flag and God, he’d be proud of you. You should be proud of the man you’ve become, Eliot. You and Sterling, the two of you work together. You’re both better people for it.” Nate made to stand up.

 

“Wait, Jim said that you were probably okay with our relationship long before you ever admitted it. Is that true?”

 

“It wasn’t really about the fact that you were sleeping with Sterling. It was more that you kept it from us. For a year. And would have continued to do so if Sterling hadn’t pressed the issue.”

 

“So you really are okay with this?”

 

“Like I told you, Eliot. The two of you are good together. Don’t think I haven’t noticed the changes, the positive changes, in the both of you.” Nate gave his shoulder a squeeze and walked off. 

 

Eliot let his attention wander over to where Jim was standing again. He couldn’t help but smile when he saw Jim laughing and talking and so obviously happy. Jim turned towards him, like he knew he was being watched, and smiled at Eliot. 

 

Things weren’t perfect, they never would be, but it sure as hell felt like they were, and really, that was all that mattered.


End file.
